About my life, I guess

Quiet

Everything is so quiet after they leave.
You'd describe it as nice and quiet, I would describe it as unbearable silence.
It's less unbearable in your arms.
I get anxious around people, talk a lot when I don't even want to, feel like I have to have full control over every situation.
But I also love them. People make me feel alive. Like I exist. Especially those few that I'm so close with. Spending time with a group makes me feel high.
And when they're gone, the silence takes over, swallows me up, puts so much pressure on my chest that I can hardly breathe.
It's easier to breathe in your arms.
The cuddles and hugs, the laughter and talking makes me tired in the best way. Cozy, happy, fulfilled. As soon as they're gone, the loneliness grips my heart and seems to crush it. I'm not tired anymore. I can't sleep anymore for a night.
It's easier to sleep in your arms.
It's hard to let them leave because I get anxious. I ask myself if they hate me now, if I'm ever gonna see them again, if I did something wrong. I want to spend more time with them.
It's easier to let them go when I know how exhausting people are for you.
It's easier to let go when I know I can concentrate on you and loving you and only you all night.
It's nice and quiet in your arms.