Cross My Heart (18+)

Preface

        "Lux, you need to get out of here, now." My mothers crystal blue eyes stared at me with intent. Although she had only spoken nine words, they were the most crushing I had ever heard. Her slender hands brushed the hot tears running down my face, cradling my jaw with the gentle touch of her fingers. I leaned into her touch, letting more tears fall freely.

People often say that before you die, all of your life's memories flood back into your brain. Every laugh, every stressful moment, every tear that streamed down your face, every heartbreak, every feeling of utter euphoria.

In this moment, I wasn't dying — but the words that spilled from my mother's mouth had the same effect. All of the moments where she comforted me, praised me, held me, and confided in me flashed before my eyes like an old silent film. I knew in this moment that my mother would die, and a part of me would die as well. Leaving her was equivalent to death in this moment.

I grasped her cold hand in mine, embracing her one last time. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to break down even more. I had no choice but to be strong for her. "I can't leave you," I whimpered helplessly into her hair. She didn't say anything, she only stroked my hair with a shaky hand. She gently pulled away from my hug, nudging me away softly. It felt as if thousands of pounds were crushing my chest, and now I didn't have anyone to lift the weight off of me. The cold air felt much more cruel as her arms left my sides, almost feeling as if I had been dunked in freezing cold water and left to die of frostbite.

"You need to go. Never look back." I nodded slowly, my throat feeling dry from the sobs and numerous shrieks of agony I had let out. It took all of my strength to finally turn around, my legs shaking with anxiety as I did so. I could feel my heart shattering into a billion tiny small pieces, pieces I knew would never go back together. I began to walk away, keeping my head up fiercely. I needed my mother's last memory of me to consist of me being a fighter. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I heard a loud gunshot echo through the air.

I kept walking, just as she told me. I didn't look back.