drunk in love - shawn mendes.

ten

~mila~

i want to pull back and ask shawn why he ditched me so he could just get wasted tonight, but i was so absorbed in the feeling of his lips i couldn't bring myself to stop kissing him. i especially couldn't stop when he pressed me against the door, cupping my cheeks with his hands. i feel his tongue run smoothly along mine, and my body begins to heat up.

"shawn." i mutter against his lips and he pulls away. his lips had only parted for a second before he reattaches them, this time to my neck. i tilt my head to the side and let him kiss me wherever he wanted.

"come on," he whispers after pulling away, grabbing both of my hands in his and walking me towards my bed.

"wait, wait, wait." i say, suddenly coming to my senses. "are you drunk right now?"

he rolls his eyes. "no."

"shawn." i glare at him. "be honest."

"i'm not. i mean, not anymore." he says, laughing a little at himself. i had a feeling there was still some effect from the alcohol in him.

"so, what? you went out and got drunk or something and that's why you stood me up?" i ask, trying to sound angry but i wasn't that good at it.

"mila," he groans. "why ruin the moment we were having?"

"because i'm not stupid." i say. "did you just ditch me and show up here at the end of the night because you wanted to skip to the end? expecting me to sleep with you or something?"

his playful mood slowly disappears and he stares at my blankly. "no, that wasn't my intention at all."

"then what were your intentions?" i ask him, arms crossed.

he sighs, sitting down on my bed and running a hand through the mop of brown, curly hair on his head. he doesn't answer my question, making me feel awkward, so i sit down next to him instead of just standing there staring at him.

"shawn?"

"look, it's—it's my little sister's birthday today." he gulps.

his response does nothing but confuse me even more. with my eyebrows pulled together, i ask "what?"

he shakes his head, looking down at his hands that were fiddling with one another on his lap. once again he grows silent, leaving me to figure it out on my own. maybe there was something wrong with his little sister. i didn't even know he had a sister. i barely knew anything about him besides he was super moody and apparently liked to get drunk a lot.

"how old is she?" i ask him.

he sniffles from beside me, and when i look at him i can see his eyes watering. "she was supposed to be 16 today."

my heart breaks for him, realizing exactly what he meant. i honestly want to cry on his behalf, i couldn't imagine losing a sibling. i lay a hand on his shoulder, opening my mouth to say something comforting, but he continues.

"i'm such a horrible fucking person, i forgot it was supposed to be her birthday today. i had three missed calls from my parents when i realized what day it was and i can't bring myself to talk to them now." he says and i was surprised by how open he was being with me. when i first met him, he seemed to be guarded and i couldn't figure him out. nonetheless, i felt terrible for him. "that's why i didn't text you, by the way. by the fourth time they tried calling, i threw my phone at the wall and it's destroyed now."

i couldn't blame him for the alcohol now. he is obviously hurt and feeling bad, so of course he tried to numb himself with alcohol. i know that's not a good solution, but i still couldn't blame him. i had a lot of questions in my mind about his sister, but i knew better than to ask right now.

he looks over at me, and that's when i reach my hand up and set it on the side of his face. "i'm really sorry... is there anything i can do to help? are you sure you don't want to talk to your parents?"

he shakes his head. "i can't, mila. if i hear their heartbroken voices right now i'm going to feel worse."

i nod. "that's okay. do you want to stay here tonight?"

he nods, leaning over and resting his head on my shoulder. with my arm around him i hold his head in my hand, playing with his hair. it always comforted me when my hair was played with, so i hoped he felt the same.

"do you like tea?" i ask him.

"i guess so." he responds. he sounded exhausted, like life has defeated him in today's battle.

i kiss the top of his head and tell him i will be right back. in the kitchen, i prepare him some hot tea and looked for a snack i could bring him. i settled on some leftover chocolate chip cookies marissa made last night. i carry the tea in one hand and the cookies in the other, bringing them into my room. shawn gives me a weak smile when i set them on the nightstand.

while he eats the cookies, i grab some clothes to wear to bed and disappear to the bathroom. i remove my makeup and contacts, brush my teeth, change into comfortable clothes, and wash my face before returning to my room. shawn had finished the cookies and half of the tea, now laying comfortably beneath my blankets waiting for me. i smile at him, climbing into bed.

"i'm going to take you on that date soon, i promise." he tells me.

"don't worry." i reassure him. "and i'm always here if you need me, shawn."

"okay, i'll remember that."