Wrong

Chapter One

***A/N This originally started as a one shot and I decided to turn it into a short story. I have reworked part of this first chapter from the original to adapt to the timeline of the story. So if you read it in 'Dirty Little Secrets' please read this first chapter again. This is my only warning this story will contain mature material including explicit sexual situations. This story is intended only for adult readers. On another note, if you do not like the story content please move along and don't read. For the rest of you, enjoy!***

It's the last tour with the band and I should be out partying and enjoy what time I have left with my mates, but I'm exhausted. I decided I needed to get off the bus for the night, so I'm staying in a hotel room alone while everyone else is out enjoying being young and having fun.

The whole damn crew: roadies, lighting technicians, sound techs, everyone went to some cliché nightclub that I don't have any desire to be at. We've been touring and recording non-stop for five years, and my life lacks substance, I need something more. Although I'm going to miss certain aspects of being on the road with my best friends, there's certain comforts that being on the road can't afford me.

I'm lonely, it's been months since I've felt the touch of a woman on my skin. It's not like the opportunity hasn't presented itself, I've had plenty of offers, but I don't want hook ups anymore. I want something more meaningful.

Somehow it seems like that's too much to ask, but I'd trade all my money to be touched with compassion and love instead of being shamelessly groped and fucked by some one-night stand. It's not that I don't have respect for the women I've been with, it's just that there's no connection. It's all about primal need and relieving sexual tension. And don't get me wrong, if I was with a woman I had chemistry with, I'd love to fuck her senseless from time to time too, I just wanna do it with someone I'm in love with.

The fucked up part is that I've already found someone, and that's the most important reason why I stopped sleeping around just to be having sex. I want her so bad and she has no idea what's happening in my heart and mind.

She's by my side every day, yet still so far out of my reach. Her name is Isla and she's been our publicist for the last three tours. She's beautiful in a very natural way, she's sexy, confident, smart, funny...and she even genuinely laughs at my jokes.

But she doesn't have a clue that I fantasize about her every night. I lay in my bunk or whatever bed I'm sleeping in thinking about our bodies being tangled together, her long legs intertwined with mine. We'd fuck and I'd make love to her while worshiping every inch of her ivory skin. She has no idea how much I adore her, and I don't think I'll ever have the balls to tell her either.

When I'm on stage I'm confident and comfortable offering myself to the audience as a highly sensual creature. I use my words, body, and charisma to express myself. Strangely enough I'm the same way when I'm with her and it makes her smile, she seems to be happy. We've always been close, and we can talk to each other about anything. But I'm terrified to tell her how I feel because she may just enjoy my company and want nothing more.

Like I said, she's our tour publicist which makes things rather complicated. If I make some stupid move and she doesn't feel the same way I feel for her, I could fuck up a lot of shit for everyone. Most importantly for her, I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable I just want her to feel loved.

Oh, and there's one other problem, she's older than me and I'm not sure she likes younger men. We both celebrated our birthdays in February; I turned 21 and she turned 35. I don't care about her age or my age or any of the other trivial bullshit. I just care about her, but for fucks sake I don't know what to do about it.