How Can I / 2

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I'm nervous, I can't lie. This is my first college party. As we walk in I feel my stomach twist in knots as my anxiety kicks in. I sigh and relief that they are playing 'Sweater Weather ( Little Daylight remix)'. But the place is dim.

I grab onto Arabella's arm and she leads me to a room in the back corner where there's a huge couch and maybe 8 people in the overly large room. I notice the pink tint of the room full of smoke.

Everyone greets Arabella and I wait to introduce myself. They all turn to look who she's with , "I'm Ra'phale, Arabella's room mate." Im smile. The first one to greet me is a guy with dark hair and blue eyes and a friendly smile. "I'm Evan, nice to meet you." I smile back and sit down and notice how my black leather dress comes up and I pull it down and cringe.

"What do you study?" A girl asks , I looks over and anwser "I major in Demonology." I hear gasps from the room and I laugh. "So mysterious." Someone sarcastically says. I look over and raise my eyebrow at the girl voice who said it. The first thing I notice is her dark brown hair and her prominent jaw line. "What do you study?"

"Literature." I don't respond bc I hear the door open. "Let's party!!" A male with long white dreads and Carmel eyes. Interesting. Before I can think of anything else he throws a package out of his pocket onto the table. Everyone looks- Acid?

I immediately stand. Everyone looks at me and I recover. I hear the Rude brown haired girl say "Who's first?" They all out tear a peice off one by one and pass it to the next person. The last person being me. I softly decline. I hear laughs and groans.

I'm immediately embrassed. I brush it off until I hear someone speak. "What? Too scared?" She laughs. "No." I say sternly. "Then do it." I Declined for a reason. "No." I hear various 'loser' , 'boring' and even 'prude'. I feel tears prick my eyes. I look over at Arabella and give her a sorry look. I Push open the door and shove everyone out of my way suddenly feeling like I can't breathe.

I run out the door not even caring about the tears rolling down my cheeks. I lean my head against a tree and pull at my hair in anger. Why can't people leave me alone so I don't have to justify my anwser. I feel so emotional all the time but everything pricks at a sensitive part of my life, and I just can't help it.

I scream as I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I turn immediately to see who it is. It's the brown haired girl and I Look at her harshly and turn back around and start walking again. "Stop walking , I came to apologize." I turn around so fast she bumps into me and notice how close our faces are it takes me a minute to recover but I do.
"For what? You didn't do anything wrong." I say feeling guilty that I made her think she was the bad guy in this situation.

"Why are you crying?" I see emotion behind her eyes, maybe she isn't trying to be rude. But once I look into her eyes they go back to being harsh.

"Just leave me alone." I say rudely and turn around and start walking away. I hear her call my name-I can't belive she remembers , but I ignore her.

I feel her garb my shoulder and jerk me back again. "What's wrong with you? I'm trying to apologize, I didn't mean to make you cry." I want to her just leave me alone! Why would she care what I think?! I don't even know her name!
I look back up at her and see her eyebrows come together.

I feel a pang of guilt hit my fragile heart. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be treating you this way. It's not your fault-" I feel my eyes water again and everything come down on me again. A rush of emotions over power me and I find myself in tears again.

"I just don't know how to feel and what to do anymore." I barely choke out. "Hey, hey it's okay. It's late and I don't want you walking home alone."

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