drunk in love - shawn mendes.

thirteen

~mila~

i decided to take ethan's advice and keep my distance from shawn. although i was beginning to really like him, he was too back and forth. i had to be cautious with the boys i choose to like now, considering my ex liam almost ruined me.

i minded my own business for a few weeks. i went to class, did my homework, studied, hung out with my friends, and didn't really go out for a while. i thought about shawn frequently, but i never texted him and it helped that he didn't text me either.

it was a friday night when tayshia and marissa went to a party. i decided to stay home because i just wasn't in the mood. food was currently on its way to my apartment and i was getting irritated because i had ordered it over 40 minutes ago. it was a friday night, i suppose, so i wasn't too mad at how long it was taking.

it's around 10pm when i hear someone banging on the apartment door. it seemed a little aggressive for a food delivery person, but maybe they were just having a stressful night. i make my way towards the door, wearing a hoodie and some comfortable shorts. my contacts were replaced with my glasses, and my hair was in a messy ponytail from my nap earlier.

i swing open the door, expecting to see a stranger with my food. however, that is not what i saw.

"shawn... what-what are you doing here?" i ask in surprise. he was the last person i was expecting to see right now.

"my uncle won't let me come inside." he tells me, clearly frustrated. "i didn't know where else to go."

he slides past me into the apartment before i could say anything. i knew i should tell him to leave, but i couldn't bring myself to.

"why won't he let you in?" i ask, closing the door.

"he's an ass sometimes." he grunts and plops onto the couch. "said i needed to get my act together before i came inside."

"what's wrong with your act? are you okay ?"

"yeah, i'm fine. i'm just a little drunk and he's
pissed about it. i'm fucking 21 years old! i'm allowed to get drunk on a friday fucking night." he rants. i wasn't surprised that he mentioned he was drunk.

"he's probably just worried about you." i suggest as i sit down on the couch beside him. 

"well he can suck a dick." shawn responds, making me laugh. it grows quiet after that, and i wasn't sure what to say now. i hadn't seen or talked to him in weeks, and when i did he wasn't very pleasant towards me.

"why haven't you texted me lately?" he suddenly asks.

"you haven't texted me, either."

"i guess you're right." he says. "well, i've missed you."

my heart begins to beat faster, and i knew it was gonna be hard to continue keeping my distance now. he was sitting in my living room with me on a friday night, neither of my roommates would be home until late. who knows how he was going to act towards me this time.

"i missed you too." i breathe as he inches closer to me, reaching his hand up to cup one side of my face. i stare at his lips, suddenly craving them to be on mine again. he brings his face closer, his lips about an inch from mine. my heart is nearly beating out of my chest.

just before our lips attach, there's a knock on the door and we jerk away from each other.

"who's that?" he asks me.

"food."

"good, i'm starving."

i roll my eyes at him before answering the door. retrieving my food, i thank the delivery guy and close the door again. i guess i would have to share with shawn now; i should have ordered more.

"this is your idea of a friday night?" he asks me as the two of us go in on the buffalo wings. i probably looked very unattractive right now in my baggy clothes, messy hair, and buffalo sauce getting onto my face with every bite.

"i can't go out all the time, it gets old." i respond, waiting for him to call me lame again. "it's nice staying in while everyone else is out. you should try it sometime."

"well that's what i'm doing right now, isn't it?" he smiles at me. "it would be boring if i wasn't with you."

"i think alone time is good for the soul."

"am i ruining your alone time?" he asks. i had a feeling he wouldn't leave even if i said yes.

"no, i'm glad you're here." i respond with honesty.

we sit there for a while, just talking and eating on my couch. he was very talkative considering he was still slightly intoxicated, and i was enjoying his company a lot. i guess it was better than being alone all night, although i really didn't mind it before.

we somehow got onto the subject of past relationships and exes. i didn't want to talk about liam, but he asked me who the last person i dated was. deciding to be honest, i told him a little bit about him.

"the last relationship i was in lasted two years, and for a little less than the first year it was amazing." i tell him. "and then it was just downhill from there. like, very downhill."

"everyone experiences at least one toxic relationship in their life," he says. "i think it's important, honestly. it teaches a huge lesson for future relationships."

"so you've already experienced your toxic relationship, then?" i ask him.

"nah," he responds. "i've only ever been in one and it was perfect."

i roll my eyes. "if it was so perfect why did you guys break up then?"

"she stayed in canada when i came here, and neither of us thought long distance was worth it. we decided it was better to just end things on good terms rather than let the distance slowly tear us apart."

"i guess i get that... but if it were me, and the person was worth it, i wouldn't give up so easily. canada is not even far from michigan at all." i say.

"i can see why all of your relationships are toxic." he says a bit rudely.

"excuse me?" i ask. what did he even mean by that? i am a very nice person, and an amazing girlfriend. and i have only ever been in one toxic relationship, so what does he mean by 'all'?

"it's cool you don't give up and all, but sometimes giving up on someone could save you from all that unhealthy shit." he shrugs.

"me and you are obviously very different."

"obviously."