Flustered by Adoration

Luisa Alver began her birthday the way any sensible adult would: In tears.

Ever since Raf had sent her that email, an email which Rose had so generously shared with her, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

But it wasn't until Luisa had been left with a brief moment of solitude that the fears and the doubts seized that opportunity and came rushing forth like a Mack truck, and while Lu should have known that with everything else going on—the realization that Susanna was Rose and having been left with no other choice but to deal with all of the emotional baggage that came along with that—it was only a matter of time. Not to mention having to unpack this all in Rose's presence, one that both put her on edge and pulled her back in.

She'd chosen to ignore all the warning signs (again), to distract herself with sex (again), which had led to this (quite inevitable) moment.

By the time Rose returned to their room with post-coital snacks, Luisa had rolled onto her side with her back to the door in a half-assed attempt to hide the onslaught of her emotional toil.

Another thing she should have known by now is that she couldn't hide from Rose. While they'd known each other for over five years and their time spent together had been fleeting, sometimes Luisa thought that Rose knew her better than she knew herself. That there wasn't anything she could hide from her.

This was, unfortunately, a perfect example.

"Luisa? Honey, what's wrong?" Rose's tone was colored with concern as she dropped everything onto the small table in their modest room.

Luisa felt the bed dip and then that inviting warmth radiating from her lover as Rose joined her, her gentle floral scent invading Luisa's senses.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

This is the point in their story where the frame would freeze on Luisa's red, tear-stained face and the narrator would appear for one, brief moment to let you know: Everything was not fine.

Luckily, between Luisa's reluctance and her sudden stuffy nose, Rose was able to figure that out on her own.

"Lu," Rose purred, the nickname sounding so soft and sweet as it fell from her lips, lips that soon placed a kiss on Luisa's bare shoulder. "Talk to me."

"It's stupid." Luisa made an attempt at shrugging it off, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand before rolling over on her back to find Rose's concerned gaze. "I'm fine. Really."

"Whatever has you so upset cannot possibly be stupid," Rose insisted, using her thumb to swipe away the last of the fallen tears. Then, quite seriously, "You do know that just because we celebrate your birthday twice, you're still only what... forty-one, right?"

This elicited a dramatic gasp from Luisa. "You're unbelievable."

Rose could only chuckle in response. "Yeah, but I made you smile, so," she shrugged, tucking Luisa's curls behind her ear. "Now come on, Lu. What's wrong? Is it me?"

"No! No. I mean, yes. But it's just... ugh." Luisa sat up, head falling into her hands. "It's you, and it's me, and it's us, and it's Rafael, and my mom. And I spent my fake freaking birthday and my real freaking birthday on a submarine in the middle of who knows what ocean with my drug lord ex who murdered my father because she's on the run from the police!" When Luisa finally turned back to look at Rose, her expression was that of pure loss and heartbreak. "My entire life has been one lie after another. And now that I know the truth about you, and about my mom, and Raf... I can't do this anymore. I can't do this, I—"

"Okay, Luisa? Luisa," Rose stuttered, shifting to sit on her knees beside her lover while Luisa continued on. "I think you're spiraling just a little bit—which is totally understandable—" Rose added having found herself under Luisa's death stare, "but I need you to breathe, okay? Breathe. Luisa? Luisa. Lu." At this point Rose's hands found their way to Luisa's shoulders in some last ditch effort to try and steady her. "I know that you're dealing with a lot right now and you're a little overwhelmed but let's just breathe. Inhale," Rose nodded, eyes wide and glued to Luisa's having caught her attention. "Exhale."