Diary of a Hipster

Morrissey Wannabe

Hi or hello, which ever you prefer. Name:Jake Greene
Age:17
Appearance: Brown quiff, square frames
Basically a Morrissey wannabe, I know I'm sad but come on he has a good look. Anyway this is my sad excuse for a life, with how long I probably have left but it's my life.
Everyday I sit in my room after a wasteful time at college and contemplate life as I lie in my bed listening to the song comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd over and over again and think wow my life is shit, but then again everyone's life is shit but I would rather focus on my own than place other people's problems into my own hand.
"JAKE, DINNER!" My mum shouted from downstairs as I quickly snapped out of my daydream. I shot out of bed and proceeded to walk down my stairs with a comfortably quick pace. Around my dining room table was my Mum Catherine with her casual brown bob, my little sister Jessica with her long newly dyed black hair and crappily put on eyeliner and then dick took the form of my stepdad John. Him and his conservative short brown hair and shit excuse for muscles from his daily exercise "routine" that he begins every fucking morning, who gets up at 4 in the morning to do weights, prick.
"Why is he at the head of the table." I opened with to my mum whilst pointing to King Dickhead himself.
"It's just a seat Jake it's no big deal now come and sit down." My mum tried to calm me.
"But I always sit there it's my bloody place, I took ownership of it so there fore it's mine." I protested as it was my place I mean how dare he come into my house and sit in my place he's only been living here for a month and already he's the modern day Hitler, next minute he'll be telling me to go in the shower, prick.
"Just sit down Jake." my mum started to get angry with me as she clutched her knife and fork.
"Fine, fine." I replied with a certain attitude. As I sat down I started to observe my sisters new darker look, I mean I've never had a problem with the emo look it just doesn't favour a 13 year old not that long ago girly girl. "So when did you decide to become Marilyn Manson's offspring Jess." I brought up with a mouth full of chicken pie.
"Eat a dick Jake." She replied with the same attitude I gave my mum not long ago.
"Jessica what did we say about vulgarity at the dinner table, and Jake don't push her buttons she wanted her hair dyed so I took her to the hair dressers after school, I like her new look it's different." My mum explained whilst eating.
"Let me guess she's now going to be listening to my chemical romance whilst saying how life is a bitch to her." I laughed to myself as she gave me the dirtiest looks, "Or are they too calm for you and you're all Nay Palm Death and Cannibal Corpse." I continued to mock her as I found it extremely funny how a girl so innocent and harmless can act like she's fucking tough.
"Now that's enough Jake, how would you like to have the same treatment?" My mum retaliated as she was sick of my shit all the time I know I complain and swear almost every minute but that's what I'm like.
"Yeah R-tard at least I'm not a pretentious twat who listens to winey crap like Radiohead." Jess stated clearly wrongly.
"How dare you diss Radiohead, they are gods," I turned to her in anger, "She didn't mean it Radiohead." I spoke to the ceiling as a normal person would do.
"Will you both be quiet I just want to have a normal dinner with the family is that so much to ask for." My Mum shouted at me and Jess.
"Family? John is just some bloke you met online." I stated as John is still a prick no matter what he does he will always be that dickhead who fucks my mum, nasty shit.
"Me and your Mother are married now, just because you may not call me Dad doesn't mean that I'm not family Jake." John stood up for himself but I couldn't care less what he thought.
"Oh piss off John." I quickly shot him down while he was up.
"I will not be spoken to like that." John became angry but all that was going through my head was which door was he going to use when he finally leaves.
Ring...Ring
"Thank God." My Mum said referring to the door that could potentially stop the arguing.
I walked to the door but to my surprise and relief it was my best friend Megan, her and her seemingly effortless brown dip-dyed blonde wavy hair and welcoming smile. I know it's weird for a best friend to say that but it's true and I've liked her since we were kids in Primary when we shared toy cars with each other, it's insane that I remember that but she's my first and potentially only crush.
"Hey faggot, coming out?" Megan smiled with her hands in her beige fur coat.
"Oh right yeah let's go the families in a siege of yet another argument." I scratched my head.
"Let me guess you caused it." Megan laughed as I nodded, "Hi Catherine me and Jake are heading out I'm taking him off you're hands for you." Megan tilted as she laughed.
"You'd be doing me a favour Meg." My Mum smiled in relief of my short absence, thanks Mum.