Lost in the lonely mind - Jace x Alec

Entering the portal

Alec Lightwood, a strong independent shadowhunter. Alec, a secretly gay shadowhunter who is desperately in love with his straight best friend. Alec, a traitor who was in love with his parabatai. Alec, a future disappointment to his few friends and family.

That is how Alec would describe himself in his own thoughts. Especially while training with his parabatai Jace Wayland. He felt disgusted by his desire to tackle his best friend down and smash his lips against the other's while letting his hands wander around his parabatai's perfectly sculpted body.

In a perfect world Alec could be himself and just tell Jace about his feelings. But Jace was supposedly straight, almost like his brother, and also his parabatai. He was basically breaking the law even by having these feelings. The parabatai were allowed to love each other in the ways of agape and philia, but never eros. Being gay was still also a big taboo in the shadowhunter community, even though people without the blood of the angel were pretty accepting nowadays.

He kept on gazing Jace, who was currently scraping dirt from under his fingernails with his blade. Neither of them were concentrating on the lesson that was going on. Using portals should be easy, right? You just think about the destination and you're suddenly transferred there by jumping into a huge wall of goo. He could just look at Jace's golden blonde hair and golden eyes for a longer while. His golden eyes that were always full of mischief and confidence.

Suddenly Alec noticed those golden eyes staring back at him. Trying to hide his embarrassment he quickly turned his head to make it seem like he was actually following the lesson. Jace tried to ask if there was something he wanted to say to him, but was interrupted by their mentor Hodge.

"So now it's the time that we all try to use these tricky lil' things. I really do hope you've paid attention!"

Jace and Alec were given a ball of portal goo to study. It was mostly Jace playing with it and Alec just watching, deep in his thoughts. That was a big mistake, because the real excercise started quickly.

"Now everyone, form a line! You're all going to go through that portal and transport back here, one by one so we can be sure you're safe. If anyone is feeling that their heads and thoughts aren't clear enough right now, tell me so you can go last or wait for another time, which is after this year."

Alec wasn't sure if he was steady enough to go through that portal, but he was sure he wasn't going to leave this part of his training for another year. Everything happened so fast that suddenly he noticed that he was going in second, just after Jace.

Jace stepped into the portal, and within a second appeared right behing Alec. 

"Miss me, babe?", he jokingly whispered into his ear, making Alec start to turn red.

"Haha yeah, I guess it's my turn now", he said while taking quick steps towards the portal, trying to get through this as fast as he could.

"Wait, I didn't instruct..." were last words he heard before jumping in.