A Tale of Two Idiots

Afraid

I met him in the park.
The lights were dim and the streets were dark.

I walked forward at a steady pace,

Swinging my arms through air that felt like cool water,

Walking through a park that was never this still in the light of day,

Watching shadows dance and take the shape of monsters,

Looking at stars that came out only in the quiet of night under the moon's loving embrace,

and couldn't be seen any other way.

So there I sat, under the soft warm glow of the lamppost,
As he sat down in front of me.

We both looked up and neither said a word.

Blue met grey.

I stared into his eyes and he stared into mine.

His dull blue eyes had once been bright,

Maybe he was hurt like I was.

But it was comforting.

No words were exchanged.

We just look at each other with an emotion I couldn't recognise.

An unfamiliar feeling.

His blue eyes swirled with curiosity and hurt.

Then he smiled,

A guarded kind of smile that didn't reveal much,

A kind of smile that had hidden emotions behind,

A kind of smile that you only used when in pain but you didn't want others to know.

a kind of smile I was familiar with.

He spoke, his voice heavy.
"James Brown. Came here to think too?"

It took some time.

A couple calls,
A few broken walls,

then we became friends.
3 years I've known him now.

During that time we really were just friends.

Now I'm not so sure.

I've started to notice how his eyes would hold mine just a few seconds longer than before.
How he would always follow me, on my usual walk to the store.

How he would save his best jokes just for me.
How he would open up, if nobody but me was there to see.

And last summer, I'd fallen for him.

Hard.

I've started to wonder if he felt the same.
That was the question. That was my aim.
When our hands brushed, I'd felt a spark.
Ever since we met, you'd stolen my heart.
But was the fire burning in me really mine to tame?

Soon I'd realised,
He was my will to live.
Even when we argued,
Him I would always forgive.

Even when I messed up,
And I was the person everyone shunned.
He stood by me,
Daring others to make fun.

But I'd fallen for someone else before him,
Someone who didn't derserve me.
Though the tears I'd cried could've filled a tub to the brim.

The point was,
I didn't know if I was ready to take that risk again.
If I was ready to go back down memory lane.

The more I thought, the more conflicted I was.
The butterfiles in my stomach were really wild now, and he was the cause.

Days flew by,
Weeks.
Was he really the right kind of guy?

I was still ambivalent.
Everyday, my thoughts wandered to him.
Everyday, I grew more uncertain.

Then I thought about our time spent together,
How he would pass me his coat at the slightest hint of bad weather.
How he would always go the extra mile,
Just to try and make me smile.

The way his electric blue eyes sparkled when he laughed.
How I always thought about the day his soft lips would land on mine.
How I messed up so bad when it finally did.
Maybe the fact that I still yearned for his touch was a sign.

He was worth it.
He was worth the pain.

This part (the one below) I sort of adopted from one of Donna Donathan's poems

---------------------------------------------------------
He was the one who brightened up my day,
When all I saw was rain.
He was the one who could make me smile,
When all I felt was pain.
---------------------------------------------------------

I would've never traded the day we met for anything else.

2 years 7 months down the road,
We went back to the same park.

When we talked about our lives,

When he kissed me,

Under the lamppost back on sixth street.

I had run away,
Feeling shocked beyond belief.
But everything seemed normal the very next day.
Though his eyes seemed pained, and his smile brief.

I decided then,
If he still wanted to,

Yes, we could be something more.
After all, love was an open door.

Donna Donathan's poem
You brought me sunshine,
When I only saw rain.
You brought me laughter,
When I only felt pain.

( I also quoted a few songs here lol )

I have no idea where I was going with this I just wanted to do something less depressing XD
-wab