Forgiving Friar Park

9. Oh! Darling

I wake up with a start, breathing heavily and sweating all over. I blink around at my surroundings and remember that I napped on the sofa, waiting for Geo to sober up so we can talk things through.

The time is around quarter to eleven at night, and everywhere is in darkness. Slowly standing up and heading to the kitchen, I'm deep in thought as to what to say when George wakes up. So much has happened, so I can't forgive him completely. His betrayal lies in the walls, in the carpets, in the atmosphere of the house. Maybe it is not him, but FriarPark's foundations I need to forgive.

Craving some caffeine, I place the water on the stove and begin to heat it up, staring blankly as I do so. I'm not there anymore.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by the creak of the kitchen door. I look up, but do not turn round. The tentative footsteps cease, and we both just stand there- him mentally begging me to turn round, and me refusing to do so.

'Coffee?' I ask in a monotone voice.

'Errr, yeah okay.' Geo's husky voice replies quietly awkward.

He pulls himself a chair from the table and lowers himself down, not taking his eyes off me as I pour the hot beverages.

'So, where did you go?' Geo asks, as I maintain my stance at the sink, not looking at him.

'Why does it matter?'

'Please, (Y/N), you're killing me.'

'From what it looks like, you're killing yourself.' I respond, blankly, taking another sip from my cup.

An awkward silence ensues, and I move my gaze from the bench outside to the lights that illuminate the parks.

'Where's Lou?'

'With Paul, I did tell you.' I reply bluntly.

'I'm sorry, I didn't realise.'

'No, you never do.'

'Please.' Geo groans as if in pain. 'I can't stand this anymore.'

'Then how the hell do you think I feel? Making me feel like I'm not worthy enough of you, you have to have a supermodel on the side. Not even talking to me about how lonely you felt. You wanted me to feel that too?' For the first time, I turn around and point my eyes at him.

He just shakes his head and groans.

'No, no, no.' He chants repeatedly, pushing his palms into his eyes and lowering his head even more.

I breathe loudly and shakily.

'We gave each other everything! We have a daughter for God's sake! But it wasn't enough, was it?'

'Please, you know I adore Louisa with all my heart and it kills me not being able to see her! And you!' George cries, standing from his seat and taking a step closer. He has tears streaming down his face and his eyes are even more bloodshot than before.

'I bet it kills you not seeing her as well.' I spit, baring my teeth. I can't bring myself to say her name.

'Don't you dare bring her up again.' He spits back, his teeth bared now. 'I want to forget her, never speak to her again, never hear her name mentioned in this fucking house!'

'Well guess what? So do I!' I scream, causing tears to cascade down my face.

We both stand there, teeth bared at each other, breathing heavily and bodies shaking with rage.

I'm the first one to let the anger drop. I slump down onto the floor, and bury my head into my hands, sobbing violently.

Seeing me break down like this, causes George to soften a bit, knowing he's gone overboard. Cautiously, he lowers himself down beside me, bringing his long legs up to chest and crossing his arms, a steady stream of tears falling from his beautiful eyes.

'I just want to know where I went wrong.' I sniffle, full of sorrow and guilt.

'Love, you didn't. It was me. I let my body get the better of my head and my heart. The last few months have thrown me out of sync, and there was a blip. That's all it was, a blip.'

I listen, still sniffling here and there.

'I wasn't meself. I was in someone else's body, my mind was corrupted. The body I have now, my real one, wants you, and only you.'

'George, you know I can't properly forgive you. Not yet at least.'

'I know, I know. I just want you and Lou back. Another chance. What I did, wasn't me. I know it's hard to comprehend, but I'm tired of everything, the fame, the popularity, everything. Everything except you. In my mind, I must have thought she was a way out. But I was blinded and corrupted by her. I failed to see that it was you. You're my way out. You don't love me for my money. You don't love me for my status. You love me because I'm George, and I wasn't George with her. I was a monster.'

Lifting my head slowly, and look deeply into his tear-clogged eyes, to see he is telling the truth.

'Oh, darling.' I lean into his chest, and he opens his arms. With his arms around my shoulders, and mine around his waist, he rests his head on my head, and I feel his hot tears on my neck.

'I love you.' He whispers, almost inaudibly.

I breathe heavily and close my eyes, not knowing how to answer.