There's really nothing as wonderful as regretting a decision and feeling reluctant when the appointed time for action befalls you - is there? It's especially wonderful when you actually desire what said action might result but just find it really difficult to enter into the battle of trying to overcome that part of yourself that would rather stay lonely, silently regretting being the way you are, than risking being let down in the pursuit of something. . . more?
His inability to enter this coveted battle with himself despite many chances to do so in the past wasn't the only thing Great hated about himself - not by any means - but it was, primarily, the cause of most things and situations he hated about his life these last four years, and he'd grown to utterly abhor it - and, in turn, himself.
But, of course, there comes a time in every guy's life when this hatred transforms itself into resentment which then transforms itself into something more. . . useful - something quite like motivation to finally throw a punch while bracing yourself to receive one in turn because you now understand that a punch might damage your face but - even if it sends you to the ground - not your legs.
He'd learnt how to throw this punch from countless YouTube videos, but knowing how to just wasn't the same as having the confidence to throw one despite the looming threat of a punch coming right back, but - and it did take its precious time - the time had finally come and, while it was just three days away, Great had promised himself he would get his first kiss on or before Valentine's day.
'Guy, what's wrong with you for crying out loud?!' the voice note complained, 'I've been standing in front of this you guys' hostel for the last - like. . . Ten hours!'
"Mister man, calm down," Great gave back in the same tone, pressing his thumb against the WhatsApp mic icon, "I just finished bathing; let me finish wearing cloth at least."
'All right then, but please be fast - cause, I swear, the kind of fishes I'm seeing around would make the man who said 'The beautiful ones are yet to be born' rise from the grave.'
Great couldn't help his chuckle at that. "All right then, let me rush and come out," he sent back, then he slipped his phone into his pocket and started rummaging his wardrobe, half of one of the two twin wardrobes separating the two double bunk beds in the little room, for a top to put on.
"You and Martins are going fishing?"
"Yea. . ." Great sighed, turning to face his bunkmate, Paschal, who was sitting in what seemed an uncomfortable position on his bed; the lower bunk of the double bunk on the right which was pushed up against the windows. "You've seen it."
"Make sense," Paschal said, nodding softly and biting his lower lip as if reasoning the whole thing. "Can I come with? I need a new fish."
"No problem," Great gave back, turning back to his box. "But what happened to Ola? I thought you said you and her are in love."
"Yea - but. . . That girl's just vexing me these days - Peter, what's up; are you coming?"
"Guy, Paschal, you guys should go catch your fish," Peter, who was sitting in the lower bunk of the opposing double bunk, said, not taking his eyes off the laptop on his lap. "Like this, I'm too busy as I am."
"What are you busy with? You're programming right now?"
"What else do you think Peter would be busy with," Great said, turning as he pulled the green sweater he'd found over his head.
"Hmm. . ." Paschal breathed. "All right then - Great let's start going please."
"Calm down," Great told him, "Let me first collect advice from the legend - Peter, any nuggets of wisdom for your guy?"
Biting his lower lip, Peter looked him up and down to study his dressing, then said, after a moment, "The only thing I can tell you's that Nigerian girls and American girls are not the same; you know you like using big grammar."
"Oh God. . ." Great sighed. "How's it my fault that all these girls don't have -"
"Mister man, no!" Peter insisted. "Your problem is that you always overdo it. You don't know that all those charisma on command you like watching on youtube is advice for American simp guys - my own is, better don't go and ask somebody's daughter if she wants to drink coffee."
Paschal raised a brow just then; "Wait ooo!" he said, "Great asked a girl whether she wanted to drink coffee?!"
"Oga, you guys should start going," Peter told him. "I'm busy like this. But, Great don't fuck up ooo," he added as Great pulled the door open. "Better catch, at least, one fish today ooo, because - even though it seems like a curse - it could be that God added this one year for you so you'll have enough time to ensure you don't leave this university as Jane the virgin."
"There's madness in your head," Great gave back over his shoulder even though he felt that wasn't all rubbish.
"You really asked a girl whether she wants to drink coffee?!" Paschal asked as he followed Great out of the room.
"Guy, that's a long story," - "Just tell me whether it's true or not," Paschal said - "What happened was that -"
"Oga, please be fast!" Martins called from just outside the gate.
"Ohhh, God," Great sighed, but he still hurried his steps. "Guy, how far?" he then gave as they came before Martins who seemed to have been seating on a stone bench just after the gate.
"I'm fine," Martins gave back, offering his hand. "Paschal, what's up your way na?" he then said, turning to Paschal after the handshake and offering one.
"Boss, I'm just fine oo," Paschal said, taking his hand. "I just said I should fish with you guys today."
"Make sense," Martins said. "Shey it's 'the more the merrier' they like saying."
"So which way are we following like this?" Great asked. "Native or front gate."
"Guy, native's too far and I don't have that kind of energy this evening," Martins said. "Let's just go to front gate; if we catch fish, good, if not we'll branch into any restaurant to eat."
"All right then," Great said, nodding softly. "Let's start going."
"But, Great?" Martins asked as they moved past the volleyball and basketball court on their right and cafeteria on the left on their way past the football field and to the main road. "What made you finally decide you must catch, at least, one fish before you die?"
"What could it be if not horniness," Paschal said, laughing at his joke as he delivered it.
"See your mouth like 'horniness'," Great told him. "Guy, Martins I just reasoned that I should catch fish before valentines day."
Martins raised a sceptical brow. "As if there wasn't any Valentine's day during our year one, two, three and four," he said. "Besides, you should know this is the worst possible time to catch fish; other guys are busy planning to break up with their babes before the fourteenth, but you you're just now trying to catch - it's as if you won a bet."
"I wish," Great said, then he went silent; he knew, considering valentine was only three days away, this wasn't the best time to be looking for a girlfriend - unless you had enough money, but he just didn't feel like he had much time to waste.
"Martins, what of you?" Paschal asked. "You'll break up with your babe?"
"Be there," Martins said as if the answer was very obvious. "Something I did this morning?"
"Hmm!" Paschal breathed, as if in shock. "How-? Which excuse did you use?"
"I gave one of my guys her number last week," Martins started. "The plan was for him to chat her up and be telling her sweet things - stuff like she's beautiful, sexy and all those kinds of stuff, that he wish she was with him instead of me.
"Since she knew the guy was my guy she didn't tell me, probably because she didn't want friends to fight because of her, and maybe she was just trying to be polite -"
"Guy, you are evil," Paschal said despite his being awed by the plan.
Martins chuckled, for a bit, at that. "As Valentine's just around the corner," he went on, "I called the girl and was like, I saw the chat you and my guy were chatting behind my back - that I want nothing to do with her anymore."
"Guy, forget," Great said, shaking his head but chuckling, "you are pure evil."
"Guy, the options are I either turn temporary evil before Valentine or I go broke because of it in the name of buying gifts," Martins explained. "The girl was begging me ooo, telling me that she loves me and that the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding - but I didn't dare let up ooo. But, after Valentine, I'll call and tell her something like I couldn't remain angry at her because my love for her's just too much."
Great couldn't help but laugh along with Paschal at that, as they'd reached the main road and started right towards the front gate which was so far it was out of view.
"Ehe!" Paschal then exclaimed suddenly as if just remembering something important. "Martins, please tell me, is it true that Great once asked a girl whether she wanted to drink coffee?"
"Oh God," Great sighed, slapping his palm against his forehead because he knew there wasn't much Martins enjoyed more than gisting other guys about some of his more embarrassing moments.
"It might seem like play, but it's actually true ooo," Martins said, starting to chuckle simply because of the memory.
"Jesus!" Paschal exclaimed, covering his mouth with both hands as though it was an abomination which shouldn't have been spoken. "Why - what happened?"
"Nna. . . You know Great likes to watch all these YouTube videos and read all these articles that teach people how to be confident and talk to girls and chat with girls and stuff like that, right?"
Paschal gave a nod so he went on, "The guy will be reading and cramming lines. That's how, one time in our year two, we gave the guy one girl's number, that he should call and ask the girl out; instead of him to ask her out like a normal human being, he asked her whether she drinks coffee - as if the Starbucks he used to see in films is in Nigeria. The guy forgot that all those guys he likes watching on youtube give American lines to American guys," he finished, laughing as he did.
"That's a lie," Great told Paschal who was also laughing like mad. "What I said was, 'Do you drink coff - coke.' I caught myself and changed it to coke."
"Potato potata," Martins said. "Why would you even - guy! Great, see that fish!"
"Which one?"
"That one that's close to zenith bank - don't you have eyes?" Martins said, barely resisting the urge to point. "Have you seen her?"
"Oh, yea," Great said, locating the girl across the road around zenith bank which was just before the junction connecting the road leading to the university's permanent site to the road they were on at the moment which lead from the back gate, the universities little market for students, to the front gate; the girl seemed to have an average height - for girls, and was wearing a nice orange dress which showed that she had the right curves in the right places and was headed for back gate. "She makes sense," he said.
"Why are you telling me - go and tell her."
Great studied the girl for a moment, then released a heavy breath and said, "All right then," before crossing the road to cut her off.
"Don't fuck up ooo," he heard Martins whisper loudly to him as he went over the different lines he'd learnt from different videos he'd watched, trying to decide which would be best to use; he'd just decided to lead with a simple 'Hi' when the girl reached into her purse and pulled out her ringing phone the next moment.
"Fuck up," he muttered to himself, letting the girl pass by him the next moment.
"What happened?" Martins asked as Great caught up.
"The girl was on call," he said.
"What kind of rubbish excuse is that," Martins said, clearly not going to accept it. "You should've followed her till she finished her call - just see how fine she was, but you went and fucked up."
"Guy just leave it," Great told him. "There're too many fishes in the sea, so that's not a problem - where's Paschal?"
"He went to catch one fish," Martins said. "Anyway, let's continue heading to front gate, he'll catch up with us and we'll still see another fish before we reach."
"All right then," Great said, and they continued for front gate.
It was barely three minutes later when Martins pointed out another girl.
"Guy, she makes sense," Great told him, studying the girl he was referring to; she was a bit tall, fair and seemed pretty. "But she's too tall."
"What kind of talk is she's too tall," Martins said, sounding annoyed. "Guy, forget that and go and reason the girl."
"You're mad," Great told him. "How'll a man be carrying a girl that's taller than him."
"You self ehh!" Martins said to sigh his frustration. "Anyhow sha, let's just keep going; we'll still see other fishes in the sea."
Martins was right; they did see some prettier and sexier girls before they got to the school's front gate, but Great thought - increasing Martins's frustration with each dumb reason - they were either a bit too short, fat, old, young or classy.
"Guy, see," Martins said finally, "go toast that girl or I'll go myself."
"Go then," Great told him. "Haven't I told you she's not my type?"
"Fine," Martins gave back, muttering something about how stupid it was that Great was going to let such a sexy girl pass him by.
"Fuck!" Great exclaimed just then, barely managing to keep it under his breath; what was wrong with him? He thought he'd made his resolve but he just felt a bit too small whenever he studied any of the girls Martins pointed out.
"Fuck!" he told himself again as he decided to trail Martins, who'd caught up with the girl ahead, to see how he'd flow.
"Babe, how far," he'd said to start, sounding free and as if he was a really fun person to be around. "Hope you're enjoying your evening?"
"Hmm, Martins have gotten a fish in his sights?" Paschal said as he caught up.
"You've seen it," Great told him.
"Ahhh! He's a senior man -! But why didn't he leave her for you?"
"She's not my type," Great lied.
"Hmm," Paschal breathed. "I don't know how this girl won't be everybody's type but, no p - let's just see how Martins shoots his shot."
They got a bit close so they could hear each word, listen to each follow-up, study how Martins transitioned from one to a different topic, how he stroked the girl's arm whenever he gave an intentional chuckle till she got comfortable enough to beat him on the shoulder whenever he teased her or said something that made her laugh, how -
"Guy -!! Martins, you're a Lord!" Paschal exclaimed as Martins joined them after he'd seen the girl into a Keke napep.
"You didn't know before?" Martins said, laughing as he pulled out his phone; "See the girl's number na; her name's Praise and she's from Enugu."
"Guy," Great said, shaking his head in awe. "You're a legend."
"What else do I want to be," Martins said. "But guy, you should've gone for her, I don't know why you -"
"Didn't I tell you she's not my type?" Great told him.
"Guy, there's nothing like type ooo," Martins said. "Girl is girl; all of them have -"
"Guy, Martins, can I take her number?" Paschal asked.
"You're mad ooo," Martins told him, snatching back his phone. "The girl I want to use to satisfy myself as me and my girl are on hold is who you want to collect - as if you didn't catch your own fish."
That ignited a chuckle from all three of them.
"Great, today has passed na," Martins then told him. "Maybe we'll try tomorrow."
" Make sense," Great said. "Let's go and eat."
"Make sense-"
"Guy! See that girl!" Paschal exclaimed suddenly, pointing.
"Paschal," Martins said, "haven't you gotten tired of girls for - wait ooo! Great, go catch that one na!"
Great turned to stare after the girl they were referring to; all he could make out was that she was wearing a leather hat over her box braids, was fair in complexion and seemed a bit slim in her extra large yellow t-shirt and grey shorts. "Guy, leave it," he said finally. "Let's go and eat."
"Guy stop fucking up na," Martins insisted. "Shey you were the one that said you want to get a babe before Valentine - or do you think God will take one of your ribs when you fall asleep this night and use it to create a customised Eve for you?"
"Great might still not have the courage to toast her," Paschal gave.
Great chuckled softly at that, then said, "Guy, the girl doesn't seem like she's my type."
"Then use her to practice," Paschal suggested.
"Oh God," Great sighed, slapping his palm against his forehead as he knew they weren't going to let him off the hook. "All right then," he then said before starting.
"Guy, rush before she disappears na," Martins called.
"Dis- which kind - appear," Great called back, but he still increased his pace till he was jogging.
But as he got closer he started to question the point of all this. As in, what was the point of his insistence on getting a girl before valentines when he could do it any time of the year - and besides, if he did end up stopping this girl he'd have to escort her to wherever it was that she was going, and he just didn't have time for that.
He'd slowed down enough to stop when he realised he actually didn't have anything better to do. Yes, he didn't have time - but that was exactly why he needed to do whatever this was right now, so he kept on, only slowing down to a walk when he'd come shoulder to shoulder with her.
"Hi," he said after he'd had his breath under control.
But the moment passed and the girl didn't respond. "Fuck up!" he said to himself; he'd decided to retreat silently when he saw that she had her earpiece in her ear. Mainly motivated by the knowledge that Martins and Paschal would call him a pussy for the rest of his life, he dared himself to try again; "Hi," he said again, giving a little wave so she'd surely see him.
Her brows reacted in a way which showed a mix of surprise and an apology as she seemed to immediately understand that this wasn't the first 'Hi,' he'd said.
"Hello," she gave back, smiling apologetically as she took off her earpiece.
"Yea, I ehm. . ." Great started, feeling a hand tightening around his heart as he studied her features to see for himself that she was actually really pretty. "Well- I thought you're really pretty and I just had to say hi; so- ehm. . . Hi?"
"Thank you," she said, chuckling shyly at that as if she knew it was a known line but just couldn't help it.
"My name's Great," Great then said, feeling proud of his delivery as he offered his hand.
"I'm Blessing," she told him with a smile as she took the handshake.
"Hmm. . ." he breathed, keeping her hand in his for a moment and against her will as he caressed it softly while feigning absentmindedness, with his thumb. "That's a very nice name - it's a bit common ooo!" he added immediately to sound a bit authentic, "But still a very nice name."
"Thank you," she said, chuckling again.
"So where are you headed?" he then asked, letting her take back her hand. "Home?"
"Yea," she said, giving a nod.
"All right, can I escort you?" he asked. "I just felt a bit bored in the hostel so I decided to go for a walk."
"All right," she told him, starting to move forward so he could follow side by side.
"So what level are you," he then asked.
"Two hundred," she said.
"What department? You look like you're in computer science."
"Wow!" she said immediately, looking very impressed. "How did you know - I'm I wearing my departmental wear?" she added, checking her shirt for effect.
"Really?" he said, surprised. "You're really in computer science?"
"Yea."
"Hmm. . . Wow," he breathed, then he remember something he'd watched on YouTube about how to keep a conversation going so he asked, "Why? As in, why computer science?"
"Hmm," she breathed, biting her lips as she seemed to think about it. "I don't really know," she said finally. "I think I just like using computers."
"You just like using computers," he repeated, feigning thoughtfulness. "Like how?"
"I really don't know," was all she said.
"Hmm. . ." Great breathed, feeling a bit disappointed the topic had ended that abruptly. "So where's your lodge?" he then asked.
"Do you know Esquire lodge? It's close to it," she added after he'd given a nod.
"Hmm. . ." He breathed, starting to feel a bit nervous as the next topic to bring up just wouldn't occur to him. "Fuck up," he then mouthed to himself after a moment as she raised her phone to her face; remembering a tip from charisma on command advising to play 'this reminds me of,' if one ever ran out of topics to talk about, he began to search around but found nothing in the bushes bordering the lane they were on. "Fuck up," he mouthed to himself again but a bit more violently; this had started well but -
"So how about you," Blessing said just then, lowering her phone. "What level are you?"
"Me?" he said, feeling a bit grateful but freezing because he really didn't know how to tackle the question. "It's funny," he decided to say, "but I don't actually know the right answer."
Blessing raised a brow. "How can't you know your own level?"
"It's cause - ehm. . ." Great breathed, using to moment to decide whether he was okay with others knowing. "I'm actually done with my final year," he said finally, "business admin, but I failed some courses and I have to clear them before I can do anything else."
"Oh, okay," she breathed, nodding to show she understood.
"That's why I don't know whether I'll tell you that I'm in my final year or that I'm a spill-over student."
"Just be telling anyone who asks you're in final year," she suggested.
"Thanks," he said, smiling as she didn't take that to mean he had no brain. "How about you; hope you don't have any problems with your result."
"I actually do," she told him.
"Really? What?"
"I have some missing scripts."
"Ahh!" Great groaned. "That's a fuck up -"
His phone started ringing in his pocket just then. "One sec," he apologised, pulling it out to see it was Martins who was calling; he considered silencing it to let Blessing know talking with her was more important but ultimately decided the wiser decision was picking the call. "Guy what's up," he said, taking the phone to his ear.
"Where are you at like this?" Martins asked from the other side.
"I'm around that your former lodge - shey it's Esquire."
"Oya na," Martins gave back. "When you finish we're still at this restaurant."
"No problem na," Great said before cutting the call, tapping the power button and slipping the phone back into his pocket. "So what're the lectures saying?" he then asked Blessing.
"I don't even know," she said, sounding angry at the situation. "But our H.O.D told me to just give him time to see what he can do, so I'm just hoping."
"Hope it works out for you."
"Thank you," she told him.
A few more questions and they came before a little self-contain flat which wasn't plastered - talk less of painted, and stood beside, and utterly dwarfed, by the more magnificent esquire lodge. "This is your lodge?"
"Yes ooo," she said, mounting the steps leading to the porch. "My poor lodge."
"Hmm. . ." Great breathed. "A poor lodge for a rich girl."
"Taar! See your mouth," she teased, swatting his arm.
Great smiled at that.
"Let me get a chair for you," she then said, making to open her door.
"Oh- no," Great said immediately, flashing both palms for her to stop. "You don't need to. I saw a girl I thought was pretty and I just had to say hi, but - although I want to - I really don't have any more time to spend with her."
"All right," she said, clearly trying to hide her blush by looking to the side.
"Look, Blessing, I enjoyed walking with you and I'd love to hang out with you some other time," he then said, taking out and unlocking his phone before offering it. "You think I can take your number?"
"Of course," she told him, taking the phone.
"How did the thing go?" Peter asked, looking up from his system, as Great stepped into the room after Paschal.
"Nna. . . The thing went well," Great said
"So, you collected her number?" Peter said.
"Why not - if not," Great said to boost.
"Thank god ooo," Peter then said, chuckling softly. "I thought you'd die alone because you're waiting for Victory."
"Who's victory?" Paschal asked immediately.
"Story for another time," Peter told him. "So what's up na," he then asked Great, "how will you follow the girl?"
"The thing is I don't know if I should chat her up this night or if I should leave it till when I want to invite her out."
"It'd be better if you chat her today," Paschal said, "but later - like around ten or eleven."
"Hmm. . ." Great breathed, considering that. "Make sense," he then said.
'Bless, hi,' he then sent after a bit past ten. 'You're still awake? It's Great.'
Some minutes passed and she still hadn't come online, but this didn't bother him; he just tapped his power button, slid his phone into his pillowcase, then turned and fell asleep with a smile on his face.
YOU ARE READING
Fishing For A Kiss
Teen FictionGreat, who's in his final year in the university, has decided he must get his first kiss before valentine's day - which is just three days away!
