Till Death Do Us Part

title of your part

I’m walking though the clearing to go deep into the forest, in the pouring rain. It’s freezing cold, there’s only a slight breeze but winter is just around the corner. The leaves that haven’t been drowned by the rain crunch under my boots, the sound is muffles by the rain pelting all the trees and dead leaves. Tears are piling in my eyes, I’ve been holding them in till I was alone. Swallowing the giant lump in my throat every second I had it form deep in my throat. I can’t hold my tears back anymore. I’m shaking uncontrollably, I feel like I’m breaking from the inside out. The truth is, I am. My hands are crammed deep in my sweater pockets. I’m walking slower and slower as I walk further. I’m not sure how much longer until I just stop. My hair is dripping in my sweater, I didn’t bother to put my hood up. My makeup is running down my face, I don’t even care anymore. The forest is in my sight, I stand and stare at the thick blanket of darkness behind those trees. Once I got to the trees I lost totally track of time. I realized I must have been walking for an hour. I see a fallen tree, as I walk slowly over the trunk of the uprooted tree I fall to my knees and start crying putting my hands to my face as I scream loudly into the sleeves of my sweater. I have never cried this hard, I can’t get control of myself and stop. The tears are streaming down my face. I crawl over the tree to lean on it. Sobbing uncontrollable. Things are falling apart in my life and I’m having a time dealing with things now after, my closest friend I will ever have past away. She was deep in my heart and meant a lot to me. That’s the main reason why I’m crying. I feel terrible for what’s happened. I was so rude to her and I let her slip right through my fingers. When I was younger I was really rude to her and I didn’t treat her the way I should have treated her. I’m much older now and I’ve realized how much of an ass I was to her. She was so important to me and the reality of her being gone still hasn’t really sunk in quite yet. This is a really bad place to be in. I feel as my insides are rotting with guilt, shame, pain and to many more throat grabbing emotions. The thing I only wish for right now is that I was the one that died and not her. She saved my life and she had more in her life than me really. My hearts broken. I will never be the same. I really know what’s it’s like now to loss a loved one. I lost my sister.

Still crying for what feels like hours, I can’t cry anymore. My eyes are burning from being assaulted by my salty tears. The rain still hasn’t stopped, the rain had filled my sweater and hair turning me very soggy. The chills had gone right through me. The sun was going down, I could tell even by how the clouds turn the sunny farm landscaping fields into a lonely empty place. Since the adrenaline was pumping through me so much I didn’t realize I was actually hurt in the crash. I’m only concerned about my sister. Also, about what I’m going to do about this whole deal. I realize I have to get back to the parking lot in town to get to my truck. My sister and I were going to have a night together, every since I moved out we never spoke really. Things sort of ended between us, I guess you could say. I didn’t want to end our relationship so I called her up one day quite a while ago, things changed then. We slowly became best friends. We were together everyday. I get up on my wobbly legs and scream deep in my throat and fall back mud and grass. I have a feeling I’ve broken my leg, I can’t walk on it without agonizing pain. Clearly my mind was really gorged from my sister’s death. I tell myself to get up. My knees are shaking like crazy, I have to use a branch to hold me up. Once I’m standing, I look for a thick branch to hold my weight so I can get to the road. I find the perfect Birch Bark branch. Wobbling and dragging myself back to the clearing was a challenge. I was really hurt, I had a really hard time breathing and I’ve done something to my arm. The ambulances, fire trucks and police cursers are all still there, including a tow truck. Before I left the back of the ambulance I was frozen with shock. When the crash first went off I was knocked out cold. I’m not totally sure for how long but it was a while. We left in the late afternoon and it was getting dim out when I came too. The small car was rolled over on my side. When I realized where I was panicked went straight through with me. I was crushed against the window, but I managed to get out the windshield since it wasn’t there anymore. My sister was no longer in the car. I screamed her name at the top of my lungs. I more so came out a huge sob with mumbled words. Searching around the car looking for her, until I went to the other side of the car. She was under the car not moving. Screaming trying to lift up the metal frame and drag her out. She wasn’t breathing. I suddenly realized that there was a man and woman on the road, they were calling to me but I couldn’t hear them. ( We clearly rolled about ten times, we were far from the road ) They clearly called the police because they just came flying up the road with the ambulance and fire truck not far behind. I watched them take my sister from the wreck. I thought they could save her but clearly I was wrong. I was more hoping they could save her. I only knew this because when she left, she left in a black bag on a stretcher. That was the last time I saw her alive.

I woke up in my bed screaming and crying. The whole thing was a dream. An absolutely, horrid, terrifying nightmare. Oskar is sleeping loudly beside me, snoring away undisturbed.

“Thank god that was only a dream.” I sighed deeply and rolled over to fall back asleep.