It's Hard Not to Hate - An Outlaw Love Story

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Taylor busied herself with cleaning the kitchen, fighting against the pull that tried to coax her back into bed. Tig's surprisingly kind words replayed in her mind as she scrubbed the stove. He was right; she had people that needed her. She had a little boy that needed her, and the last few days she had been no better than Wendy; she had all but abandoned him, too.

She tucked the dishes into the dishwasher, one by one, and from behind her she could hear the front door squeaking open and closed again. Tig had been in and out several times over the last hour, taking phone calls from the guys, regarding what she had no idea. She had dismissed him, but he refused to leave until Jax returned.

"Mommy!" She spun quick, dropping the plastic cup back in the sink like it had burnt her skin. That voice, that word, made her heart swell, expanding within the confines of her chest as if it would burst.

Abel toddled to her and she scooped him into her arms, holding him close and tight, breathing in his scent, feeling his soft skin in her arms. She kissed his rosy cheeks, brushing her hand through his white-blonde hair as he smiled.

"Hi baby," she cooed. "How's my boy?"

"Mommy owie?" He babbled, pointing at her chest. "Mommy sad." As a tear rolled down her cheek Able wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"Mommy's okay, buddy. No more crying." She would be okay. Last time she fought all alone, just for herself. This time, though, she was far from alone, and she had her son to fight for, too.

Jax and Tig entered the house, standing in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. Jax was surprised to see Taylor there, cuddling Abel to her tightly and whispering to him.

"She's up." Tig nodded. "How'd you manage that?"

"Oh, you know," Tig started, "brewed some coffee, scrambled some eggs, shattered a cereal bowl; the usual."

Jax chuckled under his breath before clapping Tig on the back and pulling him into a hug.

"Thanks man," he whispered in his ear.

"I'd do anything for you, Jax. Always will," Tig replied. He pulled away from Jax, sending a final glance towards where Taylor's bare feet were planted on the floor, her face aglow as she spoke to Abel. "I'll leave you to it." With that Tig disappeared out the door, before long the rumble of his bike surrounded the home as he took off down the road, the sound fading the further he got.

Jax kept himself planted in the background for a while, watching Taylor and Abel together, his body filling with warmth. Taylor glanced at him, Abel's hand tucked up in her hair as he played with the dark tendrils. She gave him a smile, a sad one, but a smile nonetheless. It'd only been four days since he'd seen a smile cross her face, but it felt like a lifetime.

God, he had missed that.

With his hands buried in his pockets he sauntered up to where she stood, his eyes roaming her face, trying to decipher how she was feeling. As he flanked her side she moved Abel to one hip, taking her free arm and sliding it under his kutte and around his waist, pressing her body into his. She leaned her cheek on his chest, pressing a soft kiss on his throat. Jax shuddered under his lips, goosebumps caressing his skin. To say he was getting turned on was an understatement, but now was not the time.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her lips grazing the thin skin over his Adam's apple as she spoke. "I haven't been handling this all that well." Jax removed his hands from his pockets, enveloping her and Abel in his arms. Abel giggled.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Jax whispered in reply. "No one can tell you how to feel or how to cope, especially with something like this." He kissed her temple softly, allowing his lips to linger as he soaked her in. He still couldn't believe it was this possible to be so in love with a woman. It didn't seem real to him.

Abel started to get restless, squirming between Taylor and Jax, and as she sat him down on his feet they both watched as he scurried off to the living room, to where mountains of toys were piled in the corner. Jax took the opportunity to wrap both arms around Taylor, pulling her into him, the front of her body flush with his. He placed his fingers under her chin and tipped her face up so she was forced to look at him.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby. I promise. I'm in this for the long hall. No matter what." He dipped his head until his lips were flush against hers. She grabbed at his biceps as melted into his touch. She had never felt safer than she did in that moment.

Their lips separated, leaving them both wanting more but knowing with the nosy toddler in the next room it wasn't the time.

"It's looks nice out," Taylor said, cocking her head to gaze out the window into the backyard.

"It is. We've got a few warm days left before the weather starts turning," Jax replied.

"Let's go somewhere." Taylor looked back at Jax and grabbed one of his hands in hers. "Just the three of us. As a family."

"I like that idea."

****

"You see the monkey, Abel? Can you say 'monkey'?" Taylor held Abel in her arms, pointing at the large ape behind the glass. Abel tried, babbling nonsense, and clapped his hands excitedly when the monkeys started chasing each other around the enclosure.

Taylor had suggested a trip to the zoo, and Jax obliged. She had definitely been surprised he had agreed to it. He definitely didn't appear to be the zoo-going type. But, as she was finding out, he would do anything for his son, and for her.

Jax sauntered up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he began to talk to Abel. From the corner of her eye Taylor could see a group of young women staring, practically drooling over Jax. She couldn't blame them, she had the same reaction to him, too, and she knew exactly what they saw in him. The white T-shirt he wore under his kutte was tight and molded perfectly to his toned torso. His facial features were sharp and structured, the blonde hair that decorated his jaw line gave him a rugged look. His blue eyes glistened in the light, deep pools holding a hint of mystery.

"Why are you scowling?" He asked, lowering his lips to her ear. Taylor hadn't realize she was doing it, and she cringed.

"Those girls are staring," she mumbled, cocking her head in their direction. His gaze followed, falling on the women, who immediately looked away, giggling among themselves.

"Let's give them something to stare at, then." With that Jax turned Taylor so she was facing him, grabbing her face in his hands and pressing his lips against hers, hard and wet. She gasped in surprise and he slipped his tongue in her mouth, delving deep as it tangled with hers.

He pulled away with a loud smack, taking Abel from her arms as she stood there, dazed and slightly embarrassed, regaining her composure. The group of girls wandered off with a huff, causing Jax to laugh under his breath.

He grabbed Taylor's hand and tugged. "Let's go, baby. Abel wants to see the tigers."