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Intro:
to know me is to know i hate confrontation, i do not like in person contact expressing how i feel, for i will text you it to avoid you knowing my weakness. to know me is to know i joke a lot in serious matters, so don't let it get to you. i hate the color red, it's something i can't explain, its violent. i hate fighting but i won't back down. i give up easily so don't take it personal, i do not fight for people, it's not that I don't want you, it's that i know myself worth so if you want to leave by all means— do. although i seem shy, i am outgoing but when i'm in a crowd i want to fight if too many people bump into me. (it's the anger in me)  i do not like eye contact so spare us the question of "why aren't you looking at me?" i need you to understand that i have walls i have built up over heart break and crying so when you do enter me, please be gentle. i am cocky, a lot of people don't like that. so if you don't, please leave me be. i am sarcastic, so if you can't handle that, don't waste your time with me. i am gentle, i am loud. my emotions are all over the place, so bare with me. all though i seem hard headed and tough be gentle with me as though i'm fragile.








Chapter 1 : Views of the prisoners mind............

Chapter 2: You changed..........................................

Chapter: 3: The difference..........................................

Chapter 4: The perks for pleasure..............................................

Chapter 5: The longing.................................

Chapter 6: Prisoner tongue..........................................

Chapter 7: How could you?................................

Chapter 8: Dear emotions..........................................

Chapter 9: Unwanted love...............................

Chapter 10: My thoughts jumbled up..............

Chapter 1 : Views of the prisoners mind

we live in a world where girls are discriminated and guys are praised by how many women they have slept with
we live in a world where if you're rich you're hated for being successful of the jealous minds.
our minds think it's okay to hate on the difference in people and how they live their lives, we hurt each other so they can be just like us, and no different, they have to dress like us or they are unhelpful to our world
we live in a world where being a teenage alcoholic is okay because we are "just having fun." although, years down the road we are hated because when we go to lunch with our friends we order beer and liquor instead of water and soda.
we wear what society wants us to not what we feel like wearing its style it's normal it's not like you it's someone you're pretending to be
we grew up with tap water and mud on our hands to Michael Kors watches on our wrists and lamborghinis on our paychecks , for what it was worth, we grew up just like everyone else.


our home town is our first root to life

"how long?" They asked
"how long what?"
"how long have you been drowning in your own body?"
"years, a few years" i said "although i'm used to it, but you know what gets me the most? not the drowning part. no no, to say the least i am fine with that, it's the smiling and the laughing all the time that i do, because i never used to be a fake person, and now that's all i do. that, that is what gets to me the most"


people ask me "why did you stop smiling?" i asked them "when did you stop trying to make me smile?"


your body is art in the mind of someone who dreams of touching it- irresistible


i stopped fighting for us when i felt nothing for myself


love with passion
love with happiness
fall with no limits


we are all sad somehow


we all want to read each other's minds but don't want to hear the truth that comes with it


your beauty hinders my way of thinking about anything else


please tell the the old you to come back - i like them better


i close my eyes so i don't see my whole world ending in front of me


kiss me like you'll never leave your lips open for another girl to close


...seek no love from people who dull your mind


we held our hands and closed our eyes and dreamed of the days where we were living our lives marvelously and with the right people


i look at you like you created this world on your own


you are solely not the one for me and both of us know it but none of us are ready to end it just yet


picture you loving me - you can't—can you


listen to my cries out loud they're about you


loving you was worse than hating myself


my lips craved yours


your looks give me a bittersweet taste


kiss me like it's a goddamn sin for us to


Chapter 2: You changed

my fingertips brushed up on your chest and i was craving you all at once


i started to look at girls the way that guys do


to you, i was something worth leaving for another human
to me, you were something worth leaving people for


i have numbed the pain of loving you -again


i do my hair make up for a person who never notice me


i've been drunk on you since day one


i unleashed my happiness on you and now I'm broken -my mistake


where the wounds still stained my heart still aches and my hand still shake - with anger like you in me


crush his soul like he did yours -revenge at the finest


our memories don't fade and our hearts don't feel the same way and our minds hinder their names forever -his

they say love can't kill you but loving him killed me in the most ugly ways


i will never give you the satisfaction that you have a piece of me anymore


hearing your name being said repeatedly in front of me made me envy your presence when you weren't even around


you were my sanity
you were my envy of life
you helped me pull myself together


you picked happier days
i miss your smile it was so pure and bright
i miss you and your eyes your bright fucking blue eyes that would stare at me as i fell harder for you



Chapter3: The difference



waves came quietly and crushed onto me all at once like they wanted to touch my pale skin


we all live on the same earth but we look at it differently


we all see differently in a scenery site, some see the beauty and warmth and others see clouds and destruction that comes along that road


the sun shines all of the gleaming skin of our bodies and creates eyefuls we can't take our eyes off of


there's always a house or a place that brings our dark demons out -this was mine


the noises of the city
the smell of the country
the people on the subways
and the animals on the farm
they're greater than we see and feel
we all live on the same earth just in different ways -our own ways of living


difference between being quiet and suffering quietly is they know you are drowning and you can't say you are tired -they don't know


you saw me as a skyscraper and yet, i was a little motel on the side of the street of your hectic mind with cracked windows and old paint peeling away with all my fate


everything is beautiful to me -the little things


all the sunsets is are loved ones smiling at us -they are proud of you.


we blur out our lives to feel no pain -all of us prisoners tongues


Chapter 4: The perks for pleasure


we search for happiness just to find the sadness we carry in our lungs
we search for strength to find the longing stress we carry in our minds
but we don't search is for solitude with our minds and peace with our past


visit your friends and family often and photograph the happiness of them -memories


your body consumes everyone's energy around you, so be careful you stand with


i'm convinced we are all here because of something, because of someone.
you're here to make life enjoyable for someone
although your world gets shaken sometimes it's nice to have stars touch the sky and ground below.
i'm convinced there's something in this world protecting us all from the horror of our own sanity minds


life is a trip, it's an unknown thing that we aren't sure of but know about. love is all in our minds we are capable of it all, some more than others but those people who think they have nothing, have everything . Xoxo



cover yourself with happiness and embrace your beauty with make up or not


where your hands touched mine and our breaths intertwined we laid down and rested our minds, we held our heads up with pride and loved each other we aren't afraid of the crowds staring at our kisses where we felt invincible with one another, we are alive and living the beautiful life



Chapter 5: The longing


it's all about what we see in ourselves not what others portray us to be, it's about our outlook on our life and self care, do what makes you love yourself the most that's the biggest success of all.


we spun around in circles for someone who didn't give a fuck about us, but we don't do shit for ourselves, how fucked up is that?


capture all the lovely moments even if other people think they're pointless


our kisses collided together & sparks didn't fly they roared against the floor and shook our love out and made the world seem pretty for once.


laugh and smile at the crazy beautiful things


oh honey, live for yourself -grateful


i'll let my tongue speak my words
And my fingers do the dancing
I'll let my body show you the Rhythm
& I'll let my eyes show you my love

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 16, 2019 ⏰

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