Alive |2|

Chapter 13 Missing him

KATHERINE

I forced myself to reread the question on my test for what felt like the 30th but I still blanked out while I was reading. My mind was on him...was he sleeping? Had he eaten today? Was he being safe? Did he throw himself so deep into whatever work he was doing and forget to take care of himself? I shook away my thoughts looking back at the at question rereading it again trying to keep him from invading my thoughts. I finally just took my best guest and moved on. I struggled through my whole test like that, LaMelo taking over my thoughts every chance he got. Then I didn't really sleep so that makes two nights I haven't slept well and it made it even harder to think. I couldn't sleep without LaMelo and I couldn't help but selfishly hope he was having the same problem.

"I'm ending your tests in 3...2...1" Just as I answered a question the test suspended. I sighed burying my face in my hands closing my eyes. A yawn escaped my lips but I knew no matter how much I laid down sleeping wasn't going to happen. I ignored my professor as he talked and then finally dismissed us. I packed up my law notes and laptop standing walking out of the stands.

"Hey Kat" My professor said. I looked over at him rubbing my makeup less face, I walked over to the desk where he was leaning. Soon enough the classroom cleared leaving just us.

"Are you ok? You seemed off today, and it says you didn't finish your test which isn't like you" He said looking at his computer screen, I sighed closing my eyes.

"It's just some home stuff, I'm sorry" I said tugging on my backpack loops.

"Anything I can help with? You are the top of this class and I'd hate to see it fall" He said offering me a piece of a Hersey bar, I mumbled a thank you taking it nibbling on it.

"No, my fiance is in New York for some business and this is the first time we've been away from each other like this and it's just wearing on me" I told him honestly not caring how stupid that sounded. I was codependent on LaMelo and maybe that was something I needed to work on. I felt like I couldn't survive without him, I felt like death was lingering over my shoulder just waiting for me to drop.

"You don't trust him?" My professor asked being nosy. I wanted to lash out at him and tell him to mind his own business but I held my tongue, he was just trying to help.

"No, I do. He wouldn't do anything like that, he really doesn't notice other females. It's nothing really, I'm just not use to not having him in bed or screaming through the house. It's just too quiet" I told him with a shrug, it was the quietness I was always begging LaMelo for but now that I had it I didn't want it.

"Well, try to pull it together ok kiddo?" He asked and I nodded. We said our goodbyes and I walked out shaking my head. I made my way to the cafe where I seen Lilly standing outside, her eyes found me and she smiled brightly.

"Kat---you look like shit" She said looking me up and down.

"Thank Lilly. I appreciate that" I said looking down at my outfit. I wore cameo baggy sweat pants, a white supreme t-shirt, my hair was up in a bun, and I didn't have on makeup. I wore my Gucci slides and a pair of cute grey and black socks.

"I didn't mean it like that, you just don't look like yourself" She said worried as we walked into the cafe but I just shrugged.

"Derrick is out of town for business. I can't sleep without him" I said leaving out my silent treatment which was also starting to take it's toll. I missed talking to him and laughing with him but he just won't apologize and mean it.

"Ohh when does he get back?" She asked me as we walked up the counter.

"Hot chocolate and a Mocha" I told the girl pulling out a 20. I paid for the two drinks and then looked over at Lilly.