Edicius {5SOS;CASHTON&CAKE&MALUM}✔️

Fifteen: "Preparing for the Worst."

Murder was something that had always been in Calum's life, whether he had known what the face of the beast looked liked or if it was hidden by a mask of easier acceptance. Luke's death was one of pure beastly quality, Mali's death was the same except Calum was "too young" to understand and had come to be brainwashed with a filter on his eyes.

Those were the only two deaths in his life that shocked him, that completely made him derail and change his entirety to fit the situation he was forced in. Mali made him grow faster, feeling the need to carry everything on his shoulders so his mum and dad wouldn't have to worry about him, the time he began to internalize everything so as to not cause his parents to think about him.

Luke made his dark side come out, made him let it grow to consume almost every part of his mind and soul, except for the small part he kept protected because he felt if he wanted to keep Luke's halo, he'd have to have something pure dwell in him to do so. Luke was the thing that kept him centered, pathetic as it was, it was also the truth.

If Luke hadn't been there, Calum would've been better off dead. He would've let Ashton take his everything way back then, agonizingly gave Ashton his last breaths without any pushbacks. He should've did that instead of running away but he wouldn't be able to die if he knew that Ashton would've taken everything, more than his innocence and his wings, he would've taken Luke, who didn't even translate into anything else because he was just his Luke.

That's all Luke was but that's all Luke needed to be since it proved that he was the only thing that had really kept Calum alive durning his crawl through hell. Calum hated the fact of Luke's death was the only thing that solidified how he felt about the man;or maybe it because he had left Ashton that his heart decided to grow warm again and talk to him, instead of staying cold so he wouldn't have any attachments that would devastate him in their loss.

His heart didn't work right because he did still get attached to Luke, blind attachments but he was still tied together with Luke nonetheless. He really missed Luke, not even really missed. The feelings he possessed about Luke being gone couldn't even form into words. No matter how many languages there are, how many words you can fit in a sentence, and how much he tried to relate his pain to something else-nothing was like loosing his Luke to his devil to Calum.

Nothing in the world, not in time that had passed and times to come, could ever amount to Luke being taken from him and the only reminder were the nightmares that haunted him and the ring he wore. He twisted the silver band around his ring finger again, the smooth circle moving easily with his touch as it spun for him than stayed when he stopped.

It was late, the sun shinning its light on the other side of the world and the moon staring at Calum through his opened window. Maybe it was judging him, disgusted that he had the audacity to hold Luke's halo in his hands but Calum knew in the back of his mind that those were his own doubts manifesting into whatever was closest, the moon becoming his enemy as its light glinted across the ring and danced on his skin.

Mali hadn't even left this big of an imprint on Calum, possibly because he never really knew his sister. She was never home and when she was, she isolated herself to whatever work she brought home. He spent his years on his knees, ear pressed up against the walls and doors in desperation to hear absolutely anything about what his sister had disappeared to do.

They hardly talked with each other, never hung out with each other, barely lived with each other because Mali had left much before her time with their family to join the ranks with China and her gang. He knew more about her know from China, learning more about his sister through others than the now deceased woman herself.

He got up from his bed when his phone buzzed, leaving the device on the bed as he went into the bathroom. He stripped off his bandages, a chill running up his spin at the chilly air that hit his messed up skin on his shoulder blades. He didn't focus on the marred skin that cling to his body, gritting his teeth when he flexed to clean at his skin before the bathroom door opened and in came harry, like he always did on cue at two in the morning.

Calum sat backwards on the closed toilet, staring through the mirror at harry as the green eyed teen yawned to himself and grabbed the first aid kit from under the counter. He popped it open, rubbing his eyes with his fist as he took out Calum's bandages and the ointment Calum always forgot to put but that's why Harry was there, right?

"Have you gotten any sleep yet?" Harry questioned, Calum shaking his silently and tensing up when Harry touched at his bare skin, "You've gotta get some sleep, Cal."

"I can't." Calum replied through the grit of his teeth, sitting up straighter as if that would stop the slight pain in his back.

"Yeah, you can. You need to stop skipping meals and not sleeping because you're going to crash durning something important if you don't." Calum sighed, nodding because Harry was right but Calum couldn't just sleep.

Every time he closed his eyes he was left staring at the darkness, mind racing, like someone combined all his and memories into a movie and was fast forwarding the entire time until it started, then replaying the horror movie until he opened his eyes. He wished he could sleep, that he could slip into a vulnerable position for just an hour but his mind liked to torment him and scream in the night louder than the day.

Harry covered over his scars, Calum wondering if he agreed with the slurs on his back, meeting Harry's green eyes and knowing he didn't.

"I'm worried about you, calum. Even if I am younger than you, we're still friends and you're going to get yourself or somebody else killed. I think we should train together because you doing it yourself isn't helping like you want it to."

"I don't even know what I want it to help me with, Harry." He mumbled out honestly, rubbing at his face in exhaustion.

"You want it to help you forget but it's not. Believe me, I know that no matter how many bullets you fire, how many targets you hit, how many whatever you do when you're alone in the room downstairs, you'll never forget Luke and that's okay." He motioned at Calum's ring, where the man was unconsciously turning it around his finger before letting it go.

"It's fine not to forget Luke. I'm sure none of us will forget the blue eyed fucker but you can't let it consume and control you, you've got to do that to those feelings. So, because I'm such a great friend and I care about you, I'm going to help you train yourself properly before you cost your life or someone else. Now get your ass to sleep or I'll chloroform you."

Calum chuckled lightly, more of a release of air but it caused a tired smile to crawl across Harry's face as he ruffled Calum's hair in an abrupt way to show affection before dragging himself back to his own room down the hall. Calum sighed, picking himself up and dropping across his bed to stare out the window as he tried to Will himself to go to sleep, knowing harry just might show up and drug him to sleep if he came in and Calum was still awake.

He shut his eyes, clenching his fist up as he focused in on the darkness behind his eyelids until his mind just clicked and he fell asleep.

{~~~~}

Another chapter, yay! *enthusiastic jazz hands* Hello.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I love Harry and Calum's relationship because it's just the same energy as Luke and Calum but just a little less, y'know? So, Take care of yourselves.

And, that's all. Au revoir....