Falling Inlove

Letter To My Ex

To: Gypsy

Hello love, it's a bit awkward calling you (Love) now.  This letter will tell why I fall in love with you like a lot of times. 

There was this girl I once ignored, I don't like her for being so noisy and papansin. It's like she's disturbing my inner peace. She was like a tadpole where she jumps from person to person just for a talk. Her voice sounds like a  megaphone where I can hear her voice from the lower ground to the upper ground. But behind her waves of laughter and that noisiness, there are sad stories.

The day she told me her story at the canteen , was the day where I promised myself I'm going to act like a sister/mother/brother/girlfriend/boyfriend to her life. It sounds funny but I actually did it. She even told me before, her birthdays weren't memorable and most of the time people forget it.  So what I did, I surprised her and gave her gifts during her birthdays.

Her entire life is so fucking complete opposite of mine. The girl I once ignored at our first encounter, became my close friend and a best friend.

As our friendship goes deeper, I fall in love with her. We fall in love.( But I am not really sure if she truly was. )

I am very certain I fall in love with a beautiful soul and a beautiful human being. And other people don't see it. I would admit her hair isn't that perfect. She got this super curly hair and her face was full of pimples.

But damn, I told myself this girl is still a beauty with or without those pimples. And I am right, she's a beauty. Her curly hair became straight and her pimples fade. She blooms like a flower just like I imagined.

I fall in love with her perfect imperfection. And that something I want her to know. That's why I can't hate her and I can lower my pride for her.

Years passed by she fell out of love because I have this imperfection that she cannot accept.  And you told me you are not BI. And maybe there are lots of reasons why..

There are a lot of things I want to tell you but you don't want to hear me out. And despite of all of our fights, I can't hate you and I can still lower my pride. You think I am selfish but I am not. I am just hurt. I was just trying to be strong.

I know everything was just misunderstanding, our arguments can't meet at certain points. And those arguments hurt us. Because of our fights, I decided to keep my distance until I can move on. If we are meant to be close friends again, we will meet someday and that day I already move on. We can hang out without wrongful intention and without those romantic feelings just like before.

I'm sorry, I did not surprise you during your birthday. It's hard for me to face you with my feelings with me. Especially that you told me you don't appreciate me anymore and you want to be away with the people like me. 

Well, I want to wish you a happy journey to your dream country. Fall in love again and don't look back anymore. Don't let your negativity and overthinking mind ruin your dreams.  Just keep on moving forward. Being afraid is part of coming out of your shell. Be the person you wanted to be,

Like I told you before, I am still here to back you up.

Best Regards,

Your Ex Monkey