14

I drank all the meds in my medicine cabinet. After finishing all of it, i felt continous shivers all through out my body. My mind went blank. My sight went black. Suddenly, I felt no pain. I felt somehow happy, but still, I'm feeling very empty.

I felt someone shaking me. I slowly closed my eyes and rubbed them. I saw a man. Crying his heart out. A familiar face I very much wanted to see. My lover, jimin. He hugged me when he saw that I opened my eyes. "Oh thank god you're fine!" He said in between sobs. I'm still on his arms. I saw the floor all cleaned up. The bottles of medicines I took were no longer there. I shot him a confused look. "What ha- happened?" I asked stuttering. "I don't know. I came here to visit you. No one was answering. The knobs were all open so I just went in. Then I saw you lying here in the bathroom. I don't know what to do babe!" He said while still crying. I brushed up his hair. I held his cheeks. I stared at him with much longing. "You're here. You're finally here. I love you so much!" I said while I pulled his face and hugged him very tight. "I'm not leaving you anymore. I'm sorry" he said in a low loving voice while smiling. I pulled from the hug and stared at him for a good few seconds until Jimin slowly stood up. He stretched up his arms for me to get up. He took my hands and clasped our hands together as he pulled me and asked me to sit on the bed. I just kept on staring at him. I love this guy so much. But I feel pain while I stare at him. He was getting water from the fridge. He must've felt my stare. He looked at me while walking towards me to hand a glass of water. "Why do you keep on staring love?". He finally asked as he sat next to me on the bed. "I just miss you so much. I thought we'll be together until the end. Why did you leave me?" I asked. Tears started to roll down my face. "Believe me, I didn't leave you. Some things are just bound to happen that we can't control. I'm always here for you. You know that" he said while cupping my cheeks. "You didn't know what I've been through. It's like you took my life with you. Everyday feels like I'm dying. I'm just living for the sake of living. But you took my life and heart with you. I dont even know how I can deal with the pain. I just want it to end. I just want to be with you again" I held both of his hands that cupped my cheeks and pressed it harder on me as I kept kissing his hands and crying my heart out. "Please dont leave me. Not again." I continued. "You know I can't promise that. But I sure can promise that we'll meet again. Just not now. Or the soonest time possible. But we will my love." He said while still cupping my cheeks. I just kept on crying trying to savor every moment. I pulled him in in a tight hug. "I love you jimin. I love you. ALWAYS. you know that!" I told him while hugging him. "I know yoongi. I'm really very sorry. But I have to leave now. Please dont try to kill yourself ever again! Or I'll be mad at you forever!" He slowly pulled away from my hug. "Don't run after me yoongi. I love you!" He said while crying and ran towards the door and shut it close. I can't move my body. I feel numb. I felt an excruciating pain in my chest again. I hold onto it for dear life. My lover left me once again. I know we can never be together again. But he will always have my heart. And his with mine. Tears can't stop falling from my eyes. As the pain felt unstoppable. I suddenly felt week and I knew I passed out again.

I suddenly saw blinding lights. I kept my eyes shut. But someone kept opening it. I felt so weak and numb. "He's responding!" the guy shouted. I still cant open my eyes but I hear someone crying beside me. "Thank god!" I hear the crying man said. A familiar voice. I slowly opened my eyes trying to take in everything. I'm in a huge room. All white. I see a doctor beside me, nurses taking my vital signs. And I see my bestfriend hoseok crying beside the bed with his boyfriend jungkook crying as well. I felt a small thud on my shoulders as hoseok slapped my shoulders and hugged me. "Dont ever try to fucking kill yourself ever again yoongi! You had me so worried you dumbass!" Hoseok said while crying. I pat his head weakly. "I saw him" I said in a weak voice. He slowly stood up and stared at me. "He also got mad because i tried to kill myself" I said. I stared at the ceiling and smile a little. "I miss him so much hobi. I really do." Tears ran down my face. Hoseok held my hand. "I know yoongi. I know. But he will not like what you did just now. He even scolded you in your dream. You better be well soon. You'll be staying here for a day or two. After that, we'll visit him. Okay?" I just nodded.

After two days I got discharged. The doctor told my friends to never leave me until I feel fully better. He said I need some company for the meantime. We were in jungkook's car. I asked them to pull over at my favorite flower shop. "One bouquet of baby's breath flower's please. All available colors please" I said to the old man who is the owner of the flower shop. He knows me because I always buy flowers for jimin when we're still together. All occasions and on some random days. "You haven't been here for quite some time young lad" the old man told me. "I know sir. But I think I'll be coming back here regularly again" I said with a smile. "That's my boy" he said with a smile. I bid him farewell and went straight in the car.

"We're here" hoseok said. "I cant feel my legs" I honestly told him. "It's been a year yoongi. I know he also misses you.maybe it's time. You already got your wake up call" hoseok said. I sighed as I straightened my shirt and went out of the car. The couple following me.

I passed a couple columbariums and finally found his. I felt my knees weaken but I try not to fall. There's his jar with his photo. I placed a flower near his ashes. I never prayed so hard as I did that day. I stayed for almost 2 hrs telling him stories with hoseok and jungkook. And what our year has been without him. Finally we had to say our goodbyes already. "See you soon again my love. I'll be back. Wait for me." I said and walked out of the cemetery with hobi and jk

As we were riding the car going home, I just stared outside thinking of how my heart has felt light by talking to him. I have been dwelling with pain ever since he died. I carried the pain and heart ache each and every time. I always wished to be dead and be with him. I just waited for my time. Everyday. "Look yoongi!" He pointed at the truck beside us. "14" I said. There was this huge number 14 written beside the truck. "The day you tried you killed yourself, it was 14 on that day. The day he showed himself in your dreams" hoseok told me with a low voice. " I didn't notice that hobi" I said in a low voice too. "I wish I could be with him right now" as the final word leave my mouth, i heard a loud bang from the left side of the car. Our car got crushed to the truck on our right with the number 14 written on it. Suddenly all was pitched dark...i blinked my eyes a few times. I saw jimin stretching his hands trying to pull me out of the car. My eyes fell shut. I opened it again and hold my hand out to hold his. I stood up easily. He pulled me out of the car. I saw the horrific accident before my eyes. I saw hobi and jungkook covered in blood but both we're slowly squirming to get out. I sighed in relief. "Thank god they're both alive" I told jimin who is still holding my hands and he smiled at me. "Yes they are" he said in response. I suddenly saw many people gathered at the back of the car. Right there and then, I saw them pulled out my body also covered in blood. Lifeless. Tears ran down my face as I try let everything sink in. I suddenly looked at my hand holding jimins. And I slowly looked him in the eyes. "Yes my love. We're finally going to be together...ALWAYS AND FOREVER. he said as tears roll in his eyes. I held his hands tighter and pulled him in a hug. "That's all I ever wanted" I whispered in his ears. Finally feeling completely happy and contented.