"You knew it all the time, don't you? You were aware that you are more than just a friend to me. My feelings for you have always been clear to you.", Jaemin's eyes became glassy and he felt tears gathering against his will.
"Jae, please listen to me."
"No, Jeno, you should listen to ME now, I'm sick of always playing by your rules, don't you realize how much you hurt me with that?"
"Jaemin, I'm so-"
"Don't, just leave it, I don't want to hear it, I don't believe you anymore.", The first tears rolled down his cheeks, he quickly wiped away with the back of his hand. He wanted to cry bitterly and let everything out. Leave all the pain free. But he didn't want to show his weak side. Not in front of Jeno, not right now.
He felt his whole body tremble. He sat down on the couch next to him, his legs no longer holding him.
His face was covered with his hands. The room was getting stuffier.
After a minute's silence, he started speaking again, "I confessed my feelings to you, but it was just a joke to you. You deliberately started a relationship with Yurin to show me that I should stay away from you."
"What are you talking about, that's not true at all.", Jeno tried to talk himself out.
"Stop lying! I'm sick of being lied to you all the fu*king time." With angry eyes, Jaemin stared at Jeno, who was silently looking out of the window.
A two-minute, tense mood held the room until Jeno suddenly turned his head to Jaemin, "Do you really think I want to hurt you in any way on purpose? Jaemin, you're my best friend. We've known each other for so long. You are very important to me.", He looked at him with a serious, almost desperate look, "I can't imagine my life without you."
At this sentence, Jaemin felt a strong, painful stinging in bis heart.
The expression in Jeno's eyes.
Such an expression he had never experienced in his years of their long friendship. He is intimidated by these eyes.
He didn't know what to do or how to behave.
Slowly he began to feel remorse.
Why didn't he just stay quiet and just say nothing?
Was Jeno angry because he mentioned Yurin.
Did Jeno really love her so much?
The thought that Yurin had Jeno by her side drove him crazy. He remembered the long days when Jaemin sat in his room, crying himself to sleep. He no longer had his jealousy under control. He wanted Jeno all to himself.
Jaemin could not stand it anymore. There was so much he could say to Jeno. But right now he was too weak for that. He didn't feel well, not at all. All the drama made him sick.
Unconsciously he got up from the couch. Everything started to turn. He felt a strong headache. Probably from too much stress. He tried to keep his balance, he was so dizzy. He just wanted to get out of this stuffy room. With slow steps, he strolled slowly to the closed door.
"Where are you going?", He heard Jeno's calm voice behind his back. He loved his deep voice so much. It was so comfortable that he wanted to fall asleep with it. But as much as he liked that voice, he didn't want to hear it anymore.
Jaemin ignored him and put his hand on the cold door handle. He pushed it down and slammed the door open. As soon as he opened it, he felt the cool breeze of the dark corridor.
He did not dare turn around. He just wanted to get out in the fresh air. He stopped in front of the open door and closed it behind him with the words, "Then watch how you survive without me."
For a few seconds he stopped in front of the closed door, taking a deep breath and calming down.
He knew he was about to cry, so he hurried to the front door, put on his jacket, hat, scarf and shoes and went outside.
Jeno stayed in the room.
