TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EXIST

CUPID'S FAULT (part1)

“I know it was you, but this is enough.”  I stood up from the white comfy bed, put the pencil and the piece of paper on the table beside me and then tried to step my feet closer to where he was, but it was already stocked by those words. Tears fell while my body trembled. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even open my mouth but my mind already had thousands of words to say. I put my hands on my chest where my heart was, and I felt that it’s getting hard to breathe. Dug..Dug…Dug..Dug.. My heart was beating so loud, as loud as the sound of the thunder for I was able to hear the sound it creates as it continues to beat. I wiped my tears away as my eyes continues to produce a lot of tears while I saw him stepping his right feet backwards, abruptly turned around, walked out of the room, stopped for a moment and then forcedly closed the door. Haaaaah! I breathe deeply as I touched the bandaged part on my neck. I am suffocating, it feels like I am drowning with tears. I was so tired, my body feels like I have climbed on the concrete walls he built between us. My heart wants to come out of my body like the feeling of a man who wishes to get the freedom back for he is accused with something he never did. My heart wants to run towards him to hold his hands and to ask him desperately, “What’s the reason why?” but I end up having no words to say. I have felt the numbness on my feet as my vision darkens and only the deafening sound of silence tingles my ears. I have kneeled down like a toy with an old battery and then afterwards lie on the floor like a man who lost his energy.
Everything just happened so fast, as fast as the lightning that comes after the thunder. Million years have passed but the memories were still fresh, as fresh as the wound he caused that even now I couldn’t make myself believe that I could no longer feel his presence, that I could no longer be with his side, and would never feel butterflies in my stomach anymore. Things flashed back, it was 10 o’clock in the evening. I was walking alone. The streetlights were not working. The road was too dark and silent that somehow triggered my nervousness. I looked around until something unusual showed in front of me. So I stopped for a while and slowly turned my head to know if someone is following me but the moment I looked at my back, I saw nothing. I continued walking, but as I made few steps from where I have stopped, I realized that the sound of the footsteps I made was obviously very different from the sound of the footsteps at my back until suddenly the sharp thing was placed directly on my neck. The nervousness was twice as what I felt, it made me froze, it made me paralyzed. The stranger whispered at my ears with a tickling breath coming off his mouth. He said, “Have you heard the story of Medusa? She was cursed by Athena right? Now, it’s time for you to feel what Medusa felt when she was cursed!” The stranger quickly pulled the sharp thing, causing the blood to flow out of my neck. I can’t breathe, I’m running out of blood. The strength I have was not enough to support my body’s weight, so I have lost my balance. But someone came, though my eyesight was blurred, I know that it’s him, it was him who saved me from the stranger’s hand until I totally closed my eyes.
Tut..Tut..Tut.. I’ve heard those sound as I slowly open my eyes. I looked around and wonder "where am I?" , then I saw a piece of paper and a pencil beside me so I decided to write that he was the reason why I believe in love until the door suddenly opened. I saw him entering the white room full of silence. We took chances to have a glimpse of each other’s faces but I have almost carried the burden of the world when he spoke. He said, "I thought it was you, it was you whom I want to spend my lifetime with. Pangs, you're such a precious gem and I don't want to hurt you. I know it was you, but this is enough." I never had a chance to speak for I felt a lot of emotions from my head down to my feet. His words made me totally flabbergasted and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The thought of losing him just made no sense inside my head. So I jumped back at the bed, held the pencil, and rewrite what I have wrote on the wet paper where my tears directly fell as I changed the next sentences after he uttered his last few words.

"You were the reason why I still believe in love. But now that you left, it made me totally believe that love wasn't real. That love was only a lust that forces a person to foolishly do stupid things between them just to make themselves believe that they are in love, but they are not.
True love truly does not exist,
How silly?
People will leave you once they found someone better, once they cannot feel the happiness they felt in the beginning, once you made mistake, once you are a little immature, once you can no longer be the source of his/her smile, once you showed your flaws and imperfections, once they cannot see the spark, once you cannot reply back with "I Love you" in a second, once they felt unloved and once they feel it isn't working anymore.
Once you are not matured enough, you will absolutely fail to exercise the true meaning of love.
It is not seen by saying you love him/her, but it is felt by proving your words exactly the same way you say "I love you".
Let me take you to a whole new world, where people do not look in the physical appearance nor the imperfections you have. But sadly, I do not know that place. Don't force someone to fill up your fantasy, because in this modern world true love does not exist."

He have changed my point of view in life. Yes, maybe since he left me every night I stare at the moon, and all I've been wishing was that, it would be him. But history repeat itself and time waits for no one, for I saw the picture of the man with a tattoo on his hand similar to the tattoo on the hand of the stranger and ... that stranger is with him. It broke me even more, more like it immediately gave me a pause and a hard feeling inside my chest. They said that "time heals all wounds," but why does my head can't rule over my heart?