What up It's ya boi. So I figured out what the fuck is up wit my bitch ass man. I'm so MF horny and lonely when I'm sober as fuck that I think I'd literally every female in the book and THAT'S why I make such a big deal over nothing. But with these carts? I couldn't figure why I was just stuck on them for the past month and a half like I probably went through like 6-8 carts tbh. I know Definitely not healthy BUT I just pieced it together that it gives me Post Nut Clarity. Let me explain, so I'm literally starved of emotional affection that the slightest bit turns me on and I can't control myself nor my thoughts and that's how it gets rampant to me thinking "suicide, isolation, darkness..etc" bullshit so when I get like that idk what to do and I just get lost and then get high to get back to normal. With the carts, it literally stops me from thinking of the affection from the first place. I don't feel anything, literally bc I'm so fckn high and I'm guessing my nerves or some shit is fucked from all of that. Again I already know this shit isn't healthy nor safe... BUT HAVE YOU SEEN LAST NOTE?! Like I'd rather just go through this than that Mental hell. The CRAZIEST thing about all of this is it could literally just be prevented if I could just talk to someone as freely as I want. What the absolute goddamn hell is wrong with me? I have absolutely no idea nor do I give a fuck... well that's not true but I tell myself that so I can stop worrying about it.
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Introvert Thoughts #5
Randomi really just write these down and forget about them... it's a lot.
