If I don't want to - S.M.

2 | Are Only Memories

Shawn

We arrived at Bluestone Lane. Mrs Craigen said goodbye and Brian continued to drive down the street.

"So what are we gonna do today, Mr Mendes?" Brian asked, turning on his indicator light, taking the right turn off the four-junction street.

"Hm... could we stop by a florist and go to Marble?" I looked outside the window before turning my head to him to get an answer, "We can go anywhere after that."

"Sure," he nodded taking another right turn.

The song Imagine played on the radio filling the silence in the car. Brian hum along with the song softly. I looked away to the window again, listened attentively to the lyrics, lost in my thoughts.

I keep craving, craving, you don't know it but it's true
Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you
This is typical of love
Can't wait anymore, I won't wait
I need to tell you how I feel when I see us together forever
In my dreams, you're with me
We'll be everything I want us to be
And from there, who knows, maybe this will be the night that we kiss for the first time
Or is that just me and my imagination

"I see how miserable you were on those early days," he chuckled, "It must suck to just can imagine, it's only a kiss, Bro."

"You're right," I let out a weak laugh, "But, at least that early days-Shawn Mendes was still lucky, he still got the chance to try," I continued, thinking how lucky those people out there who still have their loved ones around,
"Mm- so what's your plan today?" I changed the subject to move this awkwardness away.

"I don't know, some sports maybe? Since we eat pizza and cokes all night long yesterday," Brian shrugged his shoulders.

"Sounds good. Basketball?" I asked.
"Basketball it is", he unbuckled his seat belt and so did I.

We entered the florist. The smell of the fresh flower tickled my nose. I looked around before a friendly voice greeted me.

"Hi, may I suggest what type of flowers you should get?" A 5'2" girl with an apron tied to her waist took a place beside me.

"Hi, yeah, erh, no, I mean I'm looking for white lilies," Me being stupid, answering to the sudden conversation.

"Is it for your girlfriend?" She shot another question.

I answer with a light nod.

"And the occasion is?" She replied raising her eyebrows excitedly.

"I'm visiting her cemetery," I replied lifting the edge of my lips a bit, "It's my third year living without her," I let out a small sigh unintentionally, realizing I spilt too much information to someone I didn't know.

She reminded me of her, in a way. Her small figures, smiley face, and the way she pulled her hair into a ponytail. They all remind me of my little Ariel.

"Oh, I'm sure she's happy to see you still buying flowers for her," She smiles trying to cover the guilt for bringing up the subject to me, but it's shown on her eyes.

I didn't mind talking about it. I just miss her every time I talk about her.

"Can I have some yellow roses?" Brian asked the girl, "If you don't mind, Shawn," He continued and turned his head to me waiting for an answer.