Hollow Souls (the short story anthology)

Never Really There

There she stood. On the stone walkway in the morning breeze. With a smile that lit up the grey sky as her soft golden hair flowed in the morning breeze, her blue eyes adding colour to world around. The flowers seemed to only bloom around her. She had been by my side since I was a child. We grew up together. How she spoke with her delicate voice would fill my head with music and lift me from the darkest parts of my mind. Although, there was always a problem when she spoke. She suggested solutions that wouldn't usually fix things. Yet her voice was so convincing that I would usually agree to it. People would tend to think I came up with the idea.

She didn't really like other people. She only spoke to me for all I knew. She was my only friend. We would talk all day and night. She was with me always never let me feel down. My parents would often come into my room to tell me to be quiet. Even in my dreams she was there, but she only whispered. She whispered so quietly that even the slightest sound of a passing breeze would drown out her voice. 

It all felt sinister in sleep. I couldn't hear the word. She was speaking so quickly and so quietly, almost like a witch casting a spell, or worse, setting a curse. 

As we grew up I was told to stop thinking out loud. She never showed herself to other people. She never liked the other people. She always hid somewhere. I told people this and they never believed me.

One day I was taken to a doctor. He asked me so many questions. She stood behind the doctor as he spoke to me. Her hair covered her eyes and she remained silent. He told me to take medication to help me feel better. I didn't understand what he meant, I felt fine. There was nothing wrong with me. He kept asking about the person I see. He was asking about her. She stood there with a finger to her lips. I knew to stay quiet. Then the doctor told me that if I took the medication i would feel and become a lot stronger. He told me to take it before I went to sleep.

We got home by foot and I carried the medicine in a bag. She told me I didn't need to take medication and that I was perfect the way I was. I was curious about what would happen.

We got home and I placed the medication beside my bed. I spent the rest of the day in my room talking to her. We just spoke about how we would be best friends forever. Before we went to sleep she said something she had never said before. She told me she wanted to be with me forever. Before falling asleep I looked over at the jar of pills and, filled with curiosity, I picked one up and took it and I fell asleep.

The dream wasn't a dream, but it didn't feel like a nightmare. I hated it. It was dark with no end. I could hear a whimpering in the distance. Almost like an angel begging for mercy whilst weakened and exhausted. I followed it leading me to a silhouette. It was looking down and tears of black dripped to the ground. Before I could approach, it let out a scream which woke me up in shock and cold sweat. I couldn't see her. She wasn't here. I ran out my room to look for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. A dark feeling started burning up inside me. I didn't feel stronger. Was she ever really here?

I could feel her somewhere, but I couldn't hear or see her. She couldn't have just vanished. The whole day I spent by myself. No one to tell me that I was ok and that I was amazing. She wasn't here. Later at night I laid on the bed and felt the urge to take a pill again. I saw her in my dream momentarily before her hair turned white. Her eyes from the light spreading blue to a dead grey. She never spoke again. Every night I took the pill. I couldn't stop myself.

I felt lost. Half of me was gone. She was gone.  She was never really there.