Gone Too Soon

"Hey Damien, can we meet up at Woody Park at 6?"

"Sure thing love. :* Meet you there. :)"

Two things are wrong with my text. I text-ed 'Damien' instead of 'Love' and I haven't text-ed any emoticons. There is a reason for that, but now I've got to put myself together. I know I'm gonna regret this, but this for the better right? 

At least, that's what I keep telling myself as I put on my varsity jacket and slipped on my Vans high cut shoes.

"Mom, I'll be at Woody Park if you need me!" I half yelled for my mom to hear as she was in the kitchen washing the dishes.

I heard my mom's approval as I grabbed the house keys, locked the door of my family's apartment and made my way to Woody Park, which is the nickname my friends and I made for Woodland Park. 

I buttoned up my varsity and stuffed my hands into the pockets of it, the December wind sweeping my hair all over my face. My teeth shattered in the cold. Thank God it doesn't snow in this country during winter, I thought.

Woody park wasn't far from where I lived, around a ten minutes walk. I gulped down my saliva as I pushed open the wooden waist length gate and made my way to our bench.

Our bench was special because unlike the others here in the park, our bench was pure bliss. It was surrounded by nature's beauty. The bench was under a big shady tree with the leaves painted a dull green, which looked both beautiful and gloomy at the same time.

There was grass all around and what I loved the best was the different variety of colorful flowers planted here and there around the bench. It gave off such an amazing aroma that made me never want to leave the place. 

Once I sat down on the moist bench, I looked up at the orange painted sky. I watched the clouds slowly move on its way and dispersed to form into another different cloud. I watched in fascination for who knows how long, nature never failed to amaze me. Everything was so beautiful, I guess the odds are against me today.

I need to get myself together, I thought as a heart shaped cloud soon transformed into a Christmas bell. I heard someone clear their throat which broke the contact I had with the sky. Damien stood right in front of me with his striped purple-and-white sweater paired with his faded blue jeans. 

My heart clenched when he wore that sweater, my favourite color.. purple. I shrugged the thought away but couldn't let the clenching subside, so I brought myself to my feet. But before I could do so, I found myself being crushed into a tight hug which caused me to sit back on the bench. I hesitated and then awkwardly hugged Damien back. 

After a while he let me go and scratched his head, a gesture which always sent the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. "Sorry, I just really missed you." He muttered. I gave him a small smile which wavered and I think he knew something was definitely wrong.

He held my arms side by side and looked me over with curiosity and concern. "What happened Faith? Is there something wrong? You've gone pale!"

This is it, I thought to myself. I felt sick, Oh please, Lord. Help me get through this. "Uhm.. a-actually Damien.. there is something wrong.. Uh.. " I patted the space on the seat next to me, motioning him to sit. He simply nodded but the concern in his eyes never leaving.

Once he sat down, he bombarded me with questions. "Are you sick? Will you be leaving?! Are you.."

"Damien, no.. but listen.. " I took in a deep breath before continuing, at that moment Damien held my hand which was shaking as if I had an electric shock. I felt like crying a river, the tears threatened to fall down but I blinked them back.  Should I just leave it? I..I.. no. This has to be done. There's no turning back, Faith.. Here it goes..

"Damien, I wanted to meet up to tell you that.. I'm.."  I looked at him in the eyes, growing wide. I looked back down at our hands intertwined. "I'm breaking up with you." I let out the words, and I dared to look at his face. His face fell at the words I've said, unable to absorb them as if it was an alien language. 

"Whaat?"He said, his voice cracking as he failed to put on a strong face. "Wha.. Tell me why Faith." Damien attempted masking his face with bravery, but both of us knew it wouldn't last a few seconds. I removed my hand from his grasp.

I hate my reason, but if he thinks its stupid.. I'm glad I'm breaking up with him.. "I need to concentrate on my studies.. I'm aiming to be one of the toppers, Damien. You know that. And I don't want this relationship to distract me right now.. I don't want any relationship to distract me." 

I watched as the mask he put on broke into a million pieces. Pain was written all over his face. I wouldn't blame him if he hated me, after all.. he did work really hard to get me. I hope I made the right decision... But something in me knew I hadn't. "I hope you understand.. But Damien, we could still be friends." I said with a forced smile as I stood up and extended my hand for a shake

 He considered for a while then shook my hand. "Yea.. friends." I then gave him a smile which made me think that maybe things could get better, but I couldn't help but regret what I did. Even though he sounded like his world was tearing apart, I'm glad he's quickly putting it back together as friends... At least that's what I hope.

He stood up and I gave him a hug. "Thanks for understanding Damien!" He nodded slowly and gave me a small smile. "If it's for studies, then I understand. I just need a breather. This is all too much for me to take.."

"Sure Damien," I said with understanding. My phone binged and saw a text from my mom telling me to go home and help prepare dinner. I smiled at the text and kept my phone back in my pocket. "I have to go now Damien, I need to help with dinner."  

'Sure Faith. See you around." Damien gave me a wave and with that I left Woody Park. The relief and happiness I felt was soon gone, and I suddenly felt how empty I was. Just friends? I don't know myself if that'll work out. Friends.. just him and I. I can't imagine anymore.. us being friends would feel foreign. 

I need to stop over thinking! Faith, just stop and take a deep breath. I obeyed the voice in my head which made me think clearly. Yes, I needed that. Stay strong Faith. Have faith. I laughed at my own joke, not caring if I looked like a maniac. 

I continued on my way home wondering what would've happened if I didn't break up with Damien. A lot of scenarios were playing in my head, but they were dislodged when I heard a loud honking sound. A bright light blinded me and the world painted itself black.

 

 ~Dedicated to a girl named Hope