Unspoken Words

Silent Mornings

It's another sunday morning

The house it silent

But my mind is storming

I can hear Death creep in

Because mother called on him

in the night when she looked past my eyes and said, "I think I rather die, in this life I am sad

Nothing feels right, I'm calling for suicide."

And for the very first time I believe her and I wanted the same thing

Because we hated ourselves and we listened to Death sing his sweet melody

But when her words hit my ears I looked too the ground holding in my own tears.

Cause someone had to be strong

To move us all along

"Mom just don't cry. I know it'll be alright"

But I don't know if I believed in what I said, because it's hard to live when you can't even leave your bed.

They knock on my door but I stay silent, because I'm too busy pretending to be sleeping

But all I ever do is lay here thinking

And father you were supposed to be my hero, I was the little girl who adored you

But now I'll become a women who doesn't even know you.

And because of you I'm afraid to allow a man to love me,

Because now I believe he will only hurt me

This is not a family, this is not a home

This is where I feel most alone

I wait for it to get better

But I'll stay in bed for now

Letting pen and paper drown out the sounds

It's another sunday morning

The house it silent,

my mind is storming