Kiss Me Goodbye

1.

"Hi babe" he kissed my hair and pulled the chair opposite to mine and sat down. "How are you Alex?" He asked me. "I'm fine, Jimin" I offered a formal smile. "Are you sure?" he asked. "You look a bit off. Have you been keeping well?" "Yes I have, thanks for asking" I answered. "What's the matter? Why are you being so formal all of a sudden? Is everything fine?" He interrogated. "Yes, everything is fine. Don't worry" I reassured him, but I myself was not sure what I was about to do. "Let's order something please, I'm very hungry" I smile. "Yes ofcourse Al, you know my favs so do the honors."

Tammy came to our table to take our order. I placed the order and thanked her. She held my hand tight and said "You're welcome Alex" I would hear her smile. I smiled back. We stayed quiet for sometimes. After few minutes when Jimin couldn't help, he poked me. "So tell me what you wanted to talk to me about" Jimin stated. I stayed quiet for sometime.. "Babe, please tell me whats the matter?" He sounded worried. "Um...."

"Hey Alex, heres your food" I got interrupted by Tammy. I smiled and said "Thank you so much. I was really very hungry. You saved my tummy, Tammy" I giggled. "No worries darling. I'm glad I could help" she said and squeezed my arm, softly. I smiled and asked "You wanna join? I'm sure we have plenty. And I'm sure that Jimin again won't be finishing his food." She laughed "No darling. I'm not hungry. Thanks for asking." She caressed my head. I smiled and she left. "Let's eat and then talk?" I asked Jimin. "Sure"

We finished our food and I slipped my cold coffee slowly. "Now can you please say something" he said in a loud yet calm voice. I was trembling from inside. I didn't really know how to tell it to him. "I think...." I pause. "We should break up" I had to do this somehow. "What! Have you fucking gone nuts Al" his voice deep but hurt. "Baby, please listen you me." I trembled. "No no no no no this is not happening. You can't do this to me. Not after what we both have been through" "Please, listen to me Jimin, please" I pleaded. "I said NO ALEXANDRA. I mean it" he exclaimed. He held both my hand with both his hands and said "Baby I know things are difficult. But its gonna be all fine. But please don't say something like this again. Please." His voice trembled. He bowed down his head and placed it on my hand. I felt something liquid and wet. "Jimin, are you crying?" I asked worried. He was quiet. "Jimin, please answer me."

"I know its difficult. I know baby. But we, both, have to stay strong." He paused. "I love you a lot Alex. A lot. More than anything in this world. I really mean it. After that day I do not, never, want to lose you. So please." "Please stop crying. Please." I couldn't help myself. I knew I would break down too but I had to stay strong. I have to do this. It's best for both for us. "But you know after that day nothing is the same and will never be the same. Ever." I said in a soft voice. "Nothing has changed after that day. NOTHING. Everything is just in your head. Stupid head of yours." I couldn't help but smile. But my voice trembled "But does it change the past or the true fact?" I paused. "No it doesn't" I answered my own question. "I don't wanna do this to both of us so I'm ending it right now" I stated. "I hope you'll understand someday" I tried to pull away but he held my hand tight and his head felt more heavy. "No, don't do this please. I.. I know its difficult but please baby."he paused. "Nothing has changed since that day. Don't. Do. This. Please." He stopped between every word.

"You saying it, will not change the past Jimin. After that accident my life has changed and so did yours. And you can't deny that fact." My voice, deep. "No... nothing has changed...." his voice soft. "You are still the same Alex for me as you were back then." He continued. "I'm leaving New York and going somewhere far." My hands now had no feeling of his head resting. "There is a orphan school there and I'm going to help children who are like me. I want to go. If I stay here I'll feel as if I'm just a burden to everyone. You, mom, dad. Everyone. Atleast if I go there I can help children who really require help." I explained. I waited but he said nothing. "I already booked the tickets. It's for tomorrow morning. I just came to tell you bye. It is difficult but this is the only thing I could think of." I paused. "I'm sorry."

"You are not a burden to me Al." He finally spoke. His voice soft. "You are my everything. My love. My life. My universe. Please don't let go. Please. I... I....... You are the same Alex to me as you were before. We all love you as you are Al. Why do you think you are a burden to your family and me?" "Because I fucking lost my fucking eyes....." I stopped. He tightened his grip. "Do you have any clue how does that feel? I won't be able to see anything anymore. I won't be able to see my little sister anymore nor mom nor dad. I won't be able to see you anymore. The way you used to blush when I used to tell you something, your smile, you moving your hands over your hair, you look very sexy though." I smiled. "Nothing is the same Ji. I hear mom and dad cry every night. They thinks I'm asleep but they have no clue all my sleep has disappeared since that day. They say everything will be fine but I know nothing will be. All I see is darkness. Everywhere."

"You don't have to do this baby. We can be together. Forever. If you want we both can move out somewhere else. But please don't leave me. Please. " I could hear the tremble in his voice. I knew I was hurting him but this is the only way. "Nothing will make me change my mind Ji. I have already made up my mind and as I told you I'm not changing it." I said. "Why the fuck do you have to be so stubborn Alex. Why can't you see that people here loves you more than anything...." " I can't see babe, you forgot?" I smiled. "You know I didn't mean it in that way.... Please don't take me wrong.. Urgh!! God!" he hit the table with his hand and I flinched by the loud noise. "I love you a lot more than anything and I thought you will understand. I thought you will understand what I'm going through. I thought you'd understand..." There was pain drop silence between us for sometime. "I just wanted to hear you and touch you for the last time. Don't worry we'll meet soon." I lied. "I know you Al. I know if you leave then you are not coming back. So no point lying."

"Please take care of everyone." I touch his hand. "And please don't be upset. " I caressed his hand. He said nothing. "I have one last request. Could you please fulfill that?" I said. "Are you fucking kidding me? You are leaving and going Al and after that you say you have a last request?" He said angrily. "I already called mom and told her to come within half an hour to pick me up, so could you please leave before she comes. I don't...." I take a deep breath and continue. "I only want to have happy memories with you and I don't wanna hear you hurt or broken, so could you please? For me?" Its hard for me to speak. "And one more thing. Please try to move on in your life. I know it will be difficult but you've got to do that. Try to get a beautiful girl who can make you happy and give you every happiness and everything you want. With me life will be difficult for you so it's better to let go."I smile.

I heard the chair slid backwards. He then held my hand and said " I will listen to you so I'm leaving. Because you are my everything. But do not think I'm giving up on you or us. I will always wait for you. Always. Remember that please. And life is and always will be better with you. And don't ever imagine that I'm gonna move...." He stopped. After few minutes he said "I too have one request too." "I'm not sure if I can fulfill it but I'll definitely try." I smile. "Kiss me please. " I closed my eyes even if it didn't make any difference. I nodded. I know this would make things more hard but he definitely deserve his last kiss. I nodded. He held my face with one hand and touched his forehead with mine. And said "I'll wait for you baby." And he kissed me. In that kiss I could feel all his pain. But I do not have any other choice. With me he will be miserable. I don't want him to ever think that he never had a chance for better life. We broke the kiss. "Goodbye Ji." He left my hands and walked away very fast. And a tear slowly rolled down my cheeks.