I freak out every time we get closer, 'cause I'm scared that it's just gonna hurt.
Nora pulled her earphones roughly from her ears, throwing them into her bag.
Stupid lyrics. She'd never thought about how stupid they were before.
She'd just walk to school without music.
After sleeping through all her alarms and missing multiple buses to school, Nora really wasn't sure if she could handle completing the rest of the day. She just wanted to go back to bed. Maybe eat some of that good chocolate she had at home, die a little inside, watch an episode of Netflix or something.
But no, she was walking to school anyway. It was the first day, she couldn't start off the school year like that.
She'd woken up to a few texts from the girls, wondering where she was. She'd almost been expecting a text from someone else, though, and she hated herself for that. She hated even more that he hadn't texted her.
She hated not knowing what to expect. Or rather, she hated having her expectations not met. That's why she generally tried to keep them pretty low.
Nora sighed, pulling her bag further up her arm and onto her shoulder. Honestly, she had no idea how she felt when it came to Alejandro. Some days she'd find herself thinking about ways to be his friend, other days she never wanted to see him again.
Some days she thought about how to be more than friends, and those days were dangerous.
Since they'd talked at Cris' party, not much had happened. Yes, they'd messaged a few times. But she'd found out about his redoing senior year through the girls, and she'd barely heard from him since then. Tagging someone in a meme didn't really count as any form of a relationship in her mind.
She wondered who he was going to hang out with this year. Would he make new friends? Or would he spend his time with the people he already knew? She didn't know which option she preferred.
Viri had been so excited by the news he was repeating, which had seemed odd to her because being happy that someone failed seemed off. But whatever. The point was Viri was still so attached to him. How were they going to get through another year of that? Sometimes everything just seemed like far too much to handle.
Ugh, she really wished she'd stayed in bed.
Nora made her way up the school steps, the front doors closed. Her hand hovered in the air in front of them, and she contemplated just not opening them, just turning around and going back home. But no, she was a masochist, so she pushed them open and stepped through.
And there he was. Because of course he was.
This was it, this was how she was going to die. She was going to die an anxiety-induced death right here in the main entrance of school. She'd really hoped for something cooler, something heroic like saving someone from a fire or just straight up ridiculous like death by french fries.
Though she guessed this was pretty ridiculous. And burning to death sounded horrible in all honesty.
Though she frequently felt on fire around Alejandro.
Nora walked as fast as she could to her locker, wishing she could bury herself inside it. Thank god he was occupied by the teacher he was currently talking to. He hadn't seen her. She could get out of this.
She couldn't believe she'd told him she'd miss him. What an idiot. What had she been thinking?
Her locker door blocked him from view, and she was thankful for the opportunity to have a breakdown in peace.
She should have stayed at home.
"Nora?"
Oh no.
It was the teacher, Mrs. Marín, and she couldn't ignore a teacher. She composed herself as quickly as she could, stepping back so she could look over.
"Yes?" Nora focussed all her energy on not looking past Mrs. Marín's shoulder, where Alejandro stood.
"I was just talking to Alejandro here about how he's going to do better in English this year, and we think a tutor might be a good idea."
Oh no. Oh no.
"As we all know you're quite proficient in the language." Ha ha. How funny, Mrs. Marín. Why do teachers always think they're so funny when they're not?
Nora finally gathered the strength to speak, garbling a few words out. "I'm not sure..."
"Well, Alejandro here said you were friends and you might be up for it."
Nora's gaze snapped over to Alejandro, who was now conveniently looking at his feet. He'd said they were friends? How interesting.
"I'll have to, um, check my class load if that's okay."
"Of course, just let me know when you have."
"Yes, Mrs. Marín."
Mrs. Marín walked away, saying something to Alejandro before she did that Nora was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to hear.
Then it was just the two of them.
Alejandro finally looked up from the floor, meeting her gaze.
"Nice of you to ask me first" Nora said.
Alejandro had the audacity to grin. "Well, I figured this way there was a better chance of you agreeing to it."
Nora turned back around to her locker. "How very manipulative" she said airily.
"Come on."
She sighed, closed her locker door and turning back around to face him.
"I'll check my schedule and get back to you" she said before walking off.
"You do that" he called after her, and she didn't like the way he sounded as if he knew she'd say yes.
Because she probably would.
