ACEDIA: Love in Hell

7 - BIG HYPOCRITE

VALEFAR

I'm a fucking hypocrite.

I sit back down, eyes still wide, hands still stiff as they grip the arms of my throne. Lord Abalam clears his throat and continues his raving about my graciousness, adding that I'm the best king who's ever ruled Sloth. That's sweet of him, I think to myself, but I can't get Ruthie's angry words out of my head.

I just ponder what she said while I receive more tribute and Bolfri records. Lamia eventually takes the other side and discusses matters with him. I just... think.

Ruthie, you brat. How dare you make me realize that I'm doing to you what Malthus did to Darra? I may not be using the word 'slave' outright, but dragging you here, telling you that you will be my queen whether you like it or not... it's still subjugation.

Maybe I should turn her. The thought of Ruthie being a shadow demon brings a smile to my lips. I wonder how she'll look... We all accept the change differently. I, being the person I was in my life above, became almost as twisted as Malthus himself, and Astarte had longer horns and sharp, black claws. Darra, however, was an innocent and didn't change much at all. Her hair turned red and her fingers turned black, but that was it. Ruthie's an innocent too.

That's good – I don't want her to change too much.

But nevertheless, I feel a bit bad for accepting those stupid boys' offering and bringing her here. I can't help my selfishness and it never occurred to me that I had acted like the very demon I despised more than anything.

And yet I'd do it all over again. Ruthie is worth the guilt. In time she could be happy here, like I am. I just have to be a little more considerate.

Tribute lasts until the fog casts a dark blue, signaling the sun has set. I'm now full to the brim with gold, silver, cloth, spices, and decoration for the castle despite already having plenty. I don't keep it all though. A lot of it is put back into the kingdom, or as gifts to my allies. It's also a good time to hear grievances from my people, and in this case, learn about any rebels from Lust.

I don't know why they choose to skulk about my lands, and not come to me directly. I was never friends with Ifera. If anything he was displeased that Malthus was dead. The two fought under Satan's command together; they were probably friends once.

When the courtiers begin shuffling out of the throne room, I feel a cold hand settle on mine. Lamia pouts down at me.

"I lost control of the girl again. I apologize for earlier. She is... difficult to predict, just as you said."

"You're forgiven," I say. "We both need to be more vigilant. Even if she's under my protection, that won't stop ignorant creatures from going after her."

"She should be turned then. Sooner than later."

"I thought about it, but I can't force it on her, Lamia." I rise from my throne and stretch my back, feeling a few pops. "I should go speak to the little brat. Maybe better explain to her how things are around here. Maybe give her more freedom and just make it crystal clear she's not to be harmed to the Court."

"She does seem impetuous though, your Majesty." Bolfri interrupts. "It might look poorly on you for letting her ignore all sense of protocol because you like her."

I shake my head a little. This isn't like. I desire her more than anything else. I want all of her. It's a force I haven't felt in ages, centuries even. Bolfri's not a shadow demon, but he should understand when we find our other half, nothing will keep us from them... After all, he was there when Darra's mate found her.

The memory makes me shudder, and I move past my advisors and head for my chambers. I owe my Ruthie an explanation. Perhaps admitting what she is to me will make things easier.