3000 Stars

"Rest, Yeah?"

Taehyung felt stupid. Very stupid.

He lay in the street with his head on the curb, staring blankly at nothing. Run away? Disappear? Like hell. He could barely get his body to listen to him. This place, this life, everything was inescapable. He pressed a hand against the pavement without trying to push himself up, closing his eyes.

Why had he ever let himself think he was free?

As if nature had been waiting for him to ask, rain began to fall. It wasn't long before Taehyung felt the rush of gutter water splashing around his pants, but he couldn't bring himself to care. There was no escape from the world, not even in death, so he was trapped here, in his body, waiting for reality to end.

Of course it wouldn't, but he could hold out hope.

His body felt heavy. It was cold, and the shivers were starting to set in. His head ached. Still he couldn't bring himself to move. He let out a breath, shuddering. Maybe if he stayed out long enough it would simply end. But was that freedom? It hadn't freed Seokjin.

There was no way death could free him from anything.

So why did he want it so badly sometimes?

"I thought so," a voice said above his head. Taehyung heard a soft sigh and the sound of an umbrella being lowered before he was lifted into the air, slowly.

"Fxck, you're heavier than you look," Yoongi muttered.

Taehyung wondered if he was heavier than he felt, but that didn't matter. He opened his eyes, shifting, and set his legs down, still leaning heavily on Yoongi. His vision wouldn't focus, but he felt Yoongi cup his face in one hand, turning it toward him.

"Stubborn idiot," Yoongi said.

Taehyung didn't respond. The words resonated in his head, but there was nothing else there, no sense of himself to respond. He let Yoongi guide him forward, not really trying to hold on as he put one foot in front of the other. When they reached his house, Yoongi pushed the door open without knocking and walked Taehyung in. Helped him up the stairs. Coaxed him through changing out of his wet clothes and hopping in the shower.

Once the hot water hit his body, Taehyung recovered enough to realize that he must have missed his battles, and that Yoongi was still sitting outside of the shower, waiting for him.

"Why did you come?" Taehyung asked, the words falling out of his mouth.

"What do you mean?" Yoongi asked.

Taehyung sat down in the tub, taking a deep breath. For a moment, words wouldn't come. Then he said, "I told you I could walk myself home."

"You were tired and hurt," Yoongi said. "I had a hunch coming home and decided to come check on you."

"A hunch, huh," Taehyung said.

"Yep," Yoongi said.

Taehyung leaned against the wall of the tub, sighing. He still felt tired and dull, but he was lucid, and he could move his body. "I'm sorry," he said, picking at his fingertips and wondering when Yoongi would leave. Why did Yoongi have to care? Taehyung had made it clear enough that he didn't want him around him.

He didn't want him there.

Right?

"Are you really?" Yoongi asked.

Against his better judgement, Taehyung laughed tiredly. "No."

"Then don't say it," Yoongi said, his voice taking on an edge Taehyung hadn't heard before. "Apologize when you mean it, not to get me off your back."

"How do you know it's that?" Taehyung asked.

"I've met people like you before," Yoongi said. Taehyung waited, but he didn't elaborate, and steam was beginning to cloud the air, dancing around his body. He sighed and forced himself to stand, reaching over and turning the water off. He wished his hack could be activated remotely. It was stupid that all his powers relied on being signed into his account on the stupid app. He could throw energy if he felt like it, but he couldn't turn on his hack, and he couldn't even pretend to be nervous about meeting Yoongi's eyes.

He reflected that it must be a good thing he was worrying about whether Yoongi would find him out. It meant he wasn't going to go into a panic-- not this time, anyway. And he didn't want Yoongi to see him panicking. Bad enough that he had seen him zoned out. Weak.

"Can I have a towel?" Taehyung asked.

Yoongi passed him one through the shower curtain. Through the gap, Taehyung saw that Yoongi's eyes were averted, the tips of his ears slightly red. He couldn't deny the heat rushing to his face, either, but he blamed it on the steam, rubbing the towel over his face and body and wrapping it around himself before stepping out, water still dripping onto his shoulders from his hair.

"How long are you going to stay here?" Taehyung asked.

"Until you're dressed and resting properly," Yoongi said, still refusing to look at him. Taehyung nodded, too tired to laugh at him, and walked past, leading the way into his bedroom. Once Yoongi was inside, he closed the door and shed the towel, patting around his shoulders before walking to his drawers and yanking them open. The clothes he chose were soft and loose, clothes he tried not to wear unless he absolutely needed the comfort. They made him look like he needed shelter. They didn't make him feel strong.

But Yoongi had already seen him weak, so what was the use?

He yanked the clothes on, taking a deep breath, and wandered over to his bed, pulling out his phone and plugging it in before burrowing under the blankets. When the first notification came through, he groaned and stuck his head back out, turning the sound off. It was another text from Jungkook. That, at least, could wait. Jungkook probably wanted a rematch.

"Think you'll be okay?" Yoongi asked.

"Who knows," Taehyung grunted, burrowing back under his blankets and wrapping his arms around himself.

"I hope you will," Yoongi said. "Rest, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah," Taehyung said.

Yoongi left, closing the door behind him again. Alone in the bedroom, Taehyung let out a long breath, rolling onto his back and stretching out his arms and legs. The ceiling held no answers, no insight into the strange mix of dullness and hyper-awareness in his body. He thought of Yoongi and the red tips of his ears and felt his hands clench. There was no explanation, at least none that he was willing to consider. It was strange that they would make each other blush. They were both boys, men, whatever. Besides, Taehyung couldn't feel love.

At least, that was what he told himself.

But he wasn't so sure anymore.

After all, the people he met who didn't feel that kind of love never felt like this watching someone else becoming embarrassed or flustered by them. They certainly didn't become flustered in return, not in the same way.

Taehyung sighed. It was all stupid. He knew better than to think about these things. He couldn't interfere in Yoongi's life any further than he already was. It was too cruel. The universe knew he couldn't handle good things.

That was why he had to stay here, alone. Strong.

Just like always.