Endless

4 Hours Before

4 HOURS BEFORE

We sit at a table in the airport, Noah stuffing his face with some sushi and Liv tucked neatly under my arm. Neither one of us really ready to let go. I place a soft kiss on the top of her head unsure of the words i should say. Anything i dream up, some how doesn't seem to express how i feel.

"Mama," Noah's voice sounding out, his words mumbled by the food in his mouth.
"Don't talk with you mouth full," its the first time i've heard Liv's voice since we got to the airport and it sounds worn out and broken.
Noah swallows, "sorry." He smiles apologetically at his mother. "I just have a question."
Liv sighs and leans further into me, "shoot buddy."
"When we die, do we become other things?" We both freeze at his question, neither of us quite knowing what to say.
"Why do you ask Noah?" Liv says as she sits up and leans across the table so she is looking him straight in the eyes.
"I just want to be a bird thats all," he smiles softly and returns to his food as if what he asked was as simple as asking why the sky was blue. I watch Liv visably relax but as she turns back to me i see her eyebrows are furrowed and she is turning something over in her head.

"What are you thinking about babe?"
"Huh?" she shakes her head as if that is the only way to bring herself back to the present, "nothing, just the usual," she smiles softly and we return back to our comfortable silence.

*        *        *

I've been driving for the past 2 hours and there is still around another hour and a half until i hit the city. Baltimore is lovely and i guess not too far away, but man when you are driving it is so tiring. I have the air con on freezing and the radio up so loud, just so i can keep myself awake. I can barely hear anything apart from the pounding bass causing my car to vibrate.

*        *        *

I pack. I pack everything, clothes, toys, books. Anything and everything.
I pack all the reminds of my time here, of my time with them, so that there is nothing left. I can't have the reminders here for her. I can't expect her to do it once she comes back from the airport.
I make sure all the dishes are done and all the beds made. Everything straight, everything tidy.

A chair sits in the middle of the room beneath the over head fa, and i must remember to move it back before i go. I pull my pillow from my bed and chuck it on the couch so that i will remember to place it somewhere she can find it. I think that is everything that needs to be done, everything that i can do for her.

I walk into my room and get changed into a nice pair of clothes. My salmon blouse, a black knee length pencil skirt, by black pumps and Liv's leather sleeved black blazer. My favourite one from her closet. I pick up all my text books after doing my makeup and curling my hair. I lock the apartment behind me and make the 30 minute walk to the library to drop off my text books, that i will no longer require.

*        *        *

I watch the hand on my watch click by so fast, robbing me of the precious time i have left with Elliot. I know i shouldn't be worried as he continues to reasure me he is coming back to me, but i just have a bad feeling about today.

The sun is shining at it is a beautiful day but i have just got this unusual chill that continues to run up my spine, as if to say don't get to comfortable.
I feel like this is the calm before the storm, and that i should be preparing for it.
The only problem is, i don't know what i am preparing for.