I just want to disappear, i'm just so different. I have tried to be strong, i have tried to be like everyone else... i have even tried to get along with everyone. The glares still came from the students whenever i talked to them. People still talked behind my back... the ones i thought i could trust went and backstabbed me. The ones who said they were there for me left me. I have tried and tried, but in the end i just feel like i havent gotten anywhere, like i have dug a big hole but there is still more. There is something out there planned for me, but what? Why am i here? I have wanted nothing more than to give to the world and this is how i am treated... like i'm nothing. I almost sent this... Not knowing who to send it to, just wanting to send it hoping someone out there would understand.
The pain behind my tears, the hurt in my face and my screams. No one notices the scars or the words they hit me with they hurt just the same. Sticks and stones can break bones and words do hurt so why doesn't anyone think before they speak. Do they think my life is better than theirs'? They dont even know half the things i go through. No one listens, no one hears a word i say, they dont understand what struggles i face in my head... i am at war with myself.
The Next Day...
"Oh my gosh look at her she is so weird and ugly." Everyone gasps as i walk the corridor just wishing to disappear. No one feels sorry for me everyone just treats me like a rodent or someone who doesn't belong like i have a disease something like the plague or worse I don't know. i just want to disappear into the darkness that way no one would notice me. Maybe i should just camouflage myself so i blend into the lockers or something... anything to help me be unnoticed.
"Ewww gross what's that smell, oh look what just came through the door." Its like this every day i just tend to stay away and ignore people. As i get to my locker i grab my books put my bag away and slam my locker. Everyone turns to look at me, mouths open. After what seems like forever eveyone goes back to talking. Not long after someone comes out of nowhere and trips me. Books fly everywhere, everyone points and laughs. yup just like any other day.
I pick up all my books red from embarrassment and head to the classroom good thing I have English, I'm like some nerd girl that likes school and has trouble making friends... as you have seen. the best thing about arriving to class before anyone else is I get to pick a seat I want to stay in for the rest of the year I usually pick the corner seat next to the window in every single class I have always picked the very back corner. It's always the darkest place and I feel more secure there.
Everyone walks into class as they walk in they trade glances and glare at me. Is it so bad to say that I'm used to it... Just then when I think nothing else could go wrong the bell goes as I look around the room it seems like everyone's here I look beside me and see one empty spot right next to me... Why would they put an extra seat in the classroom if no one else is coming?
The teacher walks into class and starts the lesson when all of a sudden... BAM!! The door slams open. A girl comes in. Yup my life got worse all of a sudden.
The girl tries to find a spot she finally sees it. As she sits down she looks around to see who she is sitting next to her smile drops when she sees my face and she glares.
"What is your problem always smiling and waving even when people throw you down?" The class all turn around and laugh.
I slouch in my seat. Yes I would like to be anywhere but here right now someone please come and save me. If anyone can hear me that is...
The teacher continues on with the class not paying attention to what is happening.
Notes are being passed around the classroom making their way towards me glancing up to see if the teacher is noticing the notes land on my table.
I open one up:
"You are worthless"
Glancing around the room as I look at another one...
"What are you a TPMG"
What is a TPMG? Oh wait.... It's underneath. Looking closely at the note under it says "Teachers Pet Nerd Girl" I dare to read another one,
"Why are you even here? Nobody likes you and we thought it was pretty obvious and clear. We don't like you so why don't you just go away!? The teachers don't put in the effort when your not around so just run away. It's not like we will miss you. FREAK."
After hearing that last one I got up and ran out of class my muscles tense. Finding it hard to breathe and trying to fight back tears I run for miles trying to get away from everyone.
I get to my locker but cannot open it. As I start to get hysterical I start punching and kicking my locker. Without any energy left to fight I sink down to the floor just wanting to be invisible, longing to disappear. No one sees what has happened, no one cares and no one notices. The girl too broken and pained to speak up or stand up all because she is afraid.
She has never been violent she doesn't agree with violence (HEY AUTHOR LETS CONTINUE PLEASE) oops sorry I thought you wanted background information (THEY WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT YOU KNOW) yes yes okay you're right anyway let's continue.
I decide that it's pointless trying to get my locker open so I take what I have get up off the floor and run home. I know that may seem dramatic but try living with that every day. I finally get home, none of my parents are home probably out working or getting groceries. I go up to my room and lock the door hoping to escape this world where everyone seems to hate on one person... ME.
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AUTHORS NOTE
Hey guys I know it has been a while since I last updated a book I have been really busy and had stopped writing all together.. I had lost my passion of writing but after reading what I wrote for this book I decided to add to what was there already to make it better. I was always hoping to publish this draft for people to read but it was too short to begin with anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will update soon. Did you like the little touch of character speaking with the author in the chapter or not?? Please let me know.
