"i still love you. you know. you're the best i've ever had. i'm sorry i treated you the way i did. i'm so fucking sorry. i didn't realize what i lost. i hope you're better off without me. i hope you find someone who will make you happy, and spoil you, and be there for you, and treat you like the princess you are. i'm sorry if i ever made you feel sad, didn't listen to you, or ignored you. you were so perfect, i was afraid that i'd ruin everything and you'd hate me. please forgive me, maria"
he reread the letter one last time, and threw it on his desk. it didn't feel real to him. they were happily enjoying their lunch yesterday, when his girlfriend said she wants to break up. his whole world was crumbling to the ground, he wanted to crawl in a corner and cry. he bit his lower lip, glancing at the letter through hooded eyes, "should i send it?".
suddenly, a rush of adrenaline got him up and running, he didn't even bother putting on shoes. he sprinted in the hallway of his tiny and cramped apartment building, taking the emergency exit so he could get out faster.
it was the middle of april, but it was cold outside. and he didn't give a fuck. he began running, and running, and running, blocking out the people swearing at him and calling him all kinds of names. the tears began to fall, his knees started to get weak, and his sanity started to crumble. out of breath, he collapsed on the hard concrete, in the middle of the street. he didn't know where he was, but he couldn't care less.
his feet were hurting from all that running, the pain killing him slowly. he got up, trying to get his shit together in the process. with a clouded mind and blurry eyes, he started wandering the streets of new york city. he stopped in front of a vitrine, looking at his reflection.
his black hair, usually neat, was now messy, sign of how he was this close to banging his head on the desk. his grey eyes, usually having that witty spark, kind of cold, were now all red and puffy. his already thin figure made him look sick, the white shirt he was wearing hanging on his boney shoulders, and exposing his flat tummy.
and then, realisation hit him, he forgot the letter.
