Rest in Peace

Confusion

Chapter 4

"I laugh at the stupidest

things and

always say the wrong things

at the wrong time.

I cry for no reason.

I get jealous

easily;

I don't have it all together...

but that's just me."

Lolita's P.O.V.

Mamá is wrapping her arms around me and my breath is gradually slowing. I am still splayed on the floor, my hand still flapping itself out. My sight is watered down by tears and I am choking- sobbing. I don't understand anything, my brain is a twisted knot of confusion, I should know who my friends are... shouldn't I? She's propping me up into a sitting position against my bed. She is wearing a sympathetic smile and kindly eyes as she puts the sodden rag to my mouth. I have a last glimpse of forever-smiling Lilith. My eyelids are heavy, I'm wavering, I'm aslee...

Mamá's P.O.V.

There's an unfair lump in my throat as I hug my Lolita. She's on the floor, convulsing- it's a bad panic attack, like the day she had her first meeting with the counselor, and the doctor, and her teacher. New things often trigger the worst attacks: this time it's confusion. She's crying, badly too. I'm wrenching the dead weight of her, though not much, against her bed. I smile- a fake one at that- and put the Sevoflurane cloth to her mouth. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps.

Adela's P.O.V

When Mrs. Dunbrigde announced Lolita was no longer going to come to our school, I was not surprised. A week before, on one of the days she was able to get to school, she introduced me to her extra-special secret friend, someone she only introduced to her best friends.

"Ad, this is Lilith, Lilith this is Adela" I just stood there.

"Ad, stop being rude and say hi. Lilith says your hurting her feelings by ignoring her." Lolita glared at me accusingly.

I wasn't meant to say anything about other peoples' problems so I mulled over what to do. Lolly looked so strange with her one arm over her 'friend' and the other on her sallow hip, I couldn't help it; a bubble of laughter slipped through my lips which soon ascended into a fully-blown laughter fit: crying, hiccuping and rolling around on the dusty playground floor.

Lolly was not amused and stood protectively in front of her 'friend', "What is wrong with you! I wish I never met you", I was still laughing, "I wish your parents had abandoned you, I wish your brother would die quicker and, and I..." ,I had stopped laughing, "...I wish you would just hurry up and kill yourself, it will do us all a favor. You're always so mean to everyone, especially me." She ran off in tears.

I knew not to blame her, it was just her illness, right? She didn't really think those things did she? Does no-one like me? What if she's right! No, she couldn't be...