Fuck.

5.

Dear friends,

           I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I'm over the top
I can't stop being annoying
All I want is to be happy with you guys
Clearly you aren't happy with me though
All I want is to belong
To be a part of something
Something worth being a part of
You guys work so well together
I don't
Maybe because you've known each other longer or because I'm insecure
Whatever it is I'm sorry
I'm sorry I'm the way I am
I'm sorry I can't control myself
I'm sorry I feel the need to be around you
I'm sorry for the pain I've caused
I'm sorry for everything
I just want to feel like I belong
Like I have a purpose here
Like I'm the main character in this story
I'm really not though
I'm just a back round character
Someone used to fill a space
A space that can easily be filled by anyone else
I wish it wasn't me but it is
I guess I'll just try to fit the part
I'll try not to play the wrong character
Step out of line
Be someone I wasn't intended to be
I'll go back into my hole
I'll stay alone
I'll leave everyone be
And maybe someday
Someday I can become what you want and need
I'll build myself up
Make something of myself
And maybe then you'll want me
And when you ask for me back
I won't say no
Why would I?
Cuz you only want me not that I'm successful?
That's fine.
I wouldn't want me if I wasn't either.
I guess I'm just desperate
Desperate for a group of people who want me

~that one side character