3000 Stars

Exposed

Taehyung logged into his account on his new phone the next day, as V, and regretted it immediately. The notifications list stretched down much farther than he was willing to look, and much of it was the same thing:

Are you Kim Taehyung?

Taehyung turned notifications off for the app and, after testing his hack, sat down hard on the bed and put his head in his hands.

Are you Kim Taehyung?

He didn't have the energy, much less the time, to delete all the comments. Doubtless Yoongi had seen them already. He couldn't just post another photo without commenting, but he couldn't say it, either. To say it was to give up. To reveal himself.

He couldn't do that.

But the more he waited, the more it looked like his time was up.

The notifications kept coming in. On the walk to the train. On the train. On the way to school. Students shot him looks in the hallways, though he tried to avoid their eyes. By the time he sat down in his seat his heart was pounding, and when Hoseok turned to him with a new look in his eyes he knew he should have found some excuse to stay home.

"Taehyung," Hoseok said under his breath. "Are you really V?"

Taehyung got up and walked out of the class.

He wandered into the bathroom, then up the stairs to the roof, where he sat down on the other side of the door, letting his head drop back onto the wall. He needed time. He just needed time.

But he had no more time.

Should he go home?

Someone would call his parents and tell them he had left school. He couldn't leave.

But he couldn't stand being stared at again. Not like before. No. He couldn't do it. He groaned, pressing his palms to his forehead and slamming his head into the wall. Why was this so hard for him? It would be a relief to admit he was V, to say that he had quit... but would they believe him?

No. He wouldn't even believe himself.

"Taehyung? Are you up here?" Yoongi called.

Yoongi. No. Taehyung gritted his teeth and ran his hands through his hair, struggling to keep his mouth shut. The impulse to speak up slammed at his insides, but it couldn't get past the wall of fear that he had built for years.

Yoongi would hate him. Yoongi would be angry with him. He would lose Yoongi, for a stupid alter-ego he had abandoned after Seokjin's death.

Why was it so hard to fight as himself?

"Taehyung," Yoongi said.

Taehyung looked up, taking a deep breath. Yoongi stood over him, hands in his pockets, so many emotions warring on his face that Taehyung couldn't read them all.

"Is it true?" Yoongi asked.

Taehyung swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, and nodded.

Yoongi mirrored his nod, sucking in air and pulling his shoulders back. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Taehyung flinched.

"You were going to wait," Yoongi said. "Until I was at the top for a year? Longer? Until we weren't living anywhere near each other and you could tell me over the phone?"

Taehyung took a shuddery breath.

"Why did you ever hide it in the first place?" Yoongi said. "I looked at the articles. You never did anything terrible as V. You never caused anything. Why did you hide?"

Taehyung couldn't look at him. He couldn't speak. The words wouldn't come. He tried to shove down his terror, but it continued to rise. He was a liar. He was a liar and a fake. This was his fault. He ruined everything. He always ruined everything.

"Why, Taehyung?"

Taehyung stood and moved toward the door, and Yoongi reached out, taking his wrist.

"Please talk to me," he said. "Why are you doing this?"

Taehyung hunched his shoulders, staring at his feet. What was he supposed to say? He was scared. Scared that he would ruin it all again, scared that his parents would find out, scared that he would lose Yoongi and Zen and Dreyk. Did it even matter? Why had he ever returned to the arena? He should have just stayed away. He... he...

"Taehyung?" Yoongi asked softly.

"I didn't want anyone to know!" Taehyung shouted, ripping his wrist out of Yoongi's grip and stumbling back. "My parents were against it, no one understood, it was a bloody sport and I wasn't supposed to being doing it!"

"And then Seokjin died," Yoongi said.

Taehyung didn't understand how Yoongi could keep his voice so level. His heart was pounding, his head was throbbing, he couldn't face this, he couldn't do it. It was too much. It was always too much. He needed to leave, to get away, to be as far away from the arena as possible.

Instead, he broke.

"Fxck!"

Taehyung crouched, wrapping his hands around his head and rocking back and forth. The tears. Always the tears. He was so tired of crying and being weak. He was conscious of Yoongi crouching beside him, reaching out, but more of his attention was centered inside him, on the pain writhing through his system. He tried to suck in a breath and sobbed, shaking his head.

"Hoseok said you go to a therapist," Yoongi said. "Aren't you talking about this?"

"Why the hxll would I talk to someone like that?" Taehyung snapped. "She's just a speaker for my fxcking parents. She doesn't care."

"But you need someone to talk to," Yoongi said. "You can't just hide forever."

Taehyung groaned, sitting down and putting his head between his knees. He didn't care if he looked childish. It muffled the sound of Yoongi's voice.

He didn't want to listen anymore.