Agent Blue

CH 1 | Blue's Backstory

Blue repeatedly glanced to his father with the gun in his hand, to the limp body that was his brother on the floor, almost unable to comprehend the situation at hand. But he soon caught up as his mother ran out from her small cramped bedroom to see what had caused all the noise. She stared at the body laying on the ground for a couple seconds before hitting her husband on the shoulder

 “What the hell is wrong with you”

But I was still standing there, staring at my father, then my brother, then my father. My hands balled into fists, I gripped so tightly I could bruise my own palms. My parents' memories acted as a demonic parasite i needed to get rid of, thinking of them began unbearable, I felt my morality leave my body as my hand started to reach for the gun I hid behind the lamp on the dresser. My father was still standing with the gun lowered and a regretful look on his face. My father didn’t try to shoot me first, i think he accepted it, maybe he finally realised how he’d acted and came to his senses, at that point it didn’t matter. I had pulled the trigger before he could do or say anything, both of my parents fell to the ground and two bullet shells dropped to the floor and fit in with the scenery of this disgusting beaten down room. I ran over to my brother kneeling down to his body to see if he was still alive. He was breathing slowly.

 “Come on brother, get up, i'm going to find an ambulance” I said trying to lean him up against the couch.

 “Leave me, nobody is coming to help” he said, suddenly a rush of pain, guilt, and anger surged through my veins but i had no clue what to do with it. 

 “No we're brothers, we stick together” I said my brother tried to help perch himself against the bottom of the couch. He didn’t say anything, he continued to look at me with the one face i’d never seen him make, defeat. I began to look down and cry. “I can’t live without you”

 “Please try, don't give up” he said trying to bring back his happy smile I knew so well, the smile that gave me comfort every day. And the smile that showed up in almost every memory I had with him. He tried his best to place his hand on my shoulder.

 “Find a better place, don’t give up” he said. I wanted to pretend he wasn’t dying, I wanted to pretend I was gonna see him again tomorrow. I wanted to pretend this was just a nightmare and that I would wake up and see my brother still sleeping peacefully. But I was in too much pain. I already knew. I wish I was the one who was shot. Because I know my brother would find a way. But I can't.

 “Don't worry brother, we will meet again. I know it. I'll be waiting, it will be just like old times” he said his smile starting to fade and his breathing slowing down.

 “No….” I tried, I didn’t know what to think. He was gone. I knew there was a chance of this happening at some point, but I never actually thought it would. It felt like hours passed before I opened my eyes and let go of my brother's hand. I forced my eyes over to his other hand that was settled to the ground. he had his sunglasses still partly held between his fingers. I picked them up slowly close to my eyes. Then I slid them on, everything around me getting slightly darker. I felt slightly safer, farther away from reality. My legs refused to stand, my eyes didn’t want to blink, my brain began to shut down. I closed my eyes and gave my brother one final head bow, then I opened my eyes again and turned to walk out of the beaten down doorway. Down the crooked cracked steps and onto the mossy wet sidewalk across the street overlooking the ocean. I didn’t glance at the water in the ocean, I didn’t even know where to go now, I didn’t have anywhere left to go. I just continued to walk down the same path. The same path that not one hour ago, me and my brother were walking on, talking about what we were going to do tomorrow. My stomach ached. Not wanting food, but I knew I was hungry. Maybe if I let the hunger consume me it would take my pain away. Until I didn't feel anything left. I was now living by my brothers last words. I want to give up, but he didn’t, he would never. And I know he hasn't given up on me. And thats all thats keeping me alive.