12:05
Fuck me.
Time to cry...
Loving can heal
Loving can mend the soul
and-
THE FUCK WAS THAT AT THE DOOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Oh its just my cat
12:08
3 minutes...
I was going to lose my mind god dammit.
It was Thanksgiving and I had not slept at all.
Spirals, tears and a blurred world. Yellow swirl flowers on a yellowed picture. A bright screen. A mix of emotions, I review.
My head was a whirl. Nothing was making since. The girl with long black hair danced and laughed and the small blond boy toddled behind on small legs. Little did they now they were dancing on a graveyard. My mind couldn't handle this. Everything was blurring and I felt so overwhelmed by the sound of turning pages and clicking keyboards. I raise my hand and-
"Yes Phoenix? What do you need?" My teacher asked.
"I need to go to the bathroom." I say, plainly.
She grabs the hall pass and writes something on it, then, hands it to me. I stand up and walk across the classroom and open the door. I walk swiftly down the hall, and swiftly glance at my locker, jammed. I run down the hall to the bathroom, skid into the girls and shut the door. I then wiggle off my jacket and hang it on the door, reach into an inside pocket and take out my phone. Biometrics open it before I can type in my password.
Hey momma
I need help
My emotions are a mess and I can't think
...
She is typing.
Sorry just got out of the shower
On my way
I sigh with relief. She was coming and I could calm down now. I stand up and slip my phone back into the pocket. I grab the hall pass and exit the stall. The motion sensors on the bathroom sink find my hands and cold water showers my sweaty hands. I reach for the soap dispenser and push my palm against it, for the soap to come out. No soap. I press again. Still no soap. Now this was ludicrous. I get my hands wet in the water again and dry them with paper towels. I grab the hall pass and walk back towards my classroom.
Sitting down, I look at my book. More glaring than looking. I was not ready for the wave of emotions that had swept all order from my mind and turned me into a useless blob of emotions and tears. Just like what happened when I finished reading the Divergent series. I had drawn a lovely picture of a character in a leather jacket, blue jeans, a black tank top and a bowed head, with just a sliver if a smile on its face.
The hair is long and brown. A broken halo floats above the head. A feathered wing on the left side of the body is stretched towards the sky while the right one is folded and wrapped in loose bandages.
With one foot in front of the other, it moves through a silent mist of rough paper and strange doodles, moving forward and not backward. I call it "The Sweet Lie of Life". Aas people always say that as long as you are good, life is good. It is a sweet lie that life is easy when you are kind.
Life is not easy.
Life is not sweet.
Life is a road all the condemned walk. The ones who proved themeselves better were allowed to die. The ones who were unable to do good wer-
The bell and phone ring loudly. I pick up my books and-
"Phoenix, you're being dismissed."
I walk to my locker. Utterly jammed. I walked to Mr. Benson's room.
"Mr. Benson?"
He looks up.
"My lockers jammed. Can you help me?"
He picks up the locker key an I lead him to my locker. Upon seeing how stuck the small door was, he simply pried it open. I had tried to pry it open earlier, only to cut my finger. I thank him and swap some notebooks and a few textbooks about before I had everything were I wanted it.
I shut my locker and swing my bag onto my back. Skipping and twirling and dancing down the halls as I made my way to the front office.
The front office had the usual smell of coffee and hard candy and paper in it. Looking out a window, I spot my mother. Leaning against the hood of the car in black sweatpants. The pale rainbow crotched hat she made all those years ago sat loosely on her short curly hair. A comforting blue and neon purple plaid shirt. She looks up as I scuff my shoe on the salted walkway. A smile spreads across her face as I approach.
My bag hits the back seat a I slide into the front passenger seat.
"It feels so nice out here. Doesn't it?" She asks in a pleasant voice. I simply nod in agreement.
"Maybe next time, don't read the last chapter of an emotional book at school!"
I give a small shoulder jostle to say that I agree and was humored by the statement.
We drive to a common fast food place and order in the drive through. We go to a park. The parking lot was completely empty. I mean of course it would be empty. It was a weekday.
When there's blood in the water.
Memes
Animation.
1 TO THE 2 ANDA 2 TO THE 3
I LIKE GOOD CANDY AND I LIKE GOOD DARK CHOCOLATE!
I'M GOING TO PLAY DUNGEON REALMS! SHARD 11 1.14 BY!!!!
