Chemo

Day 1 August 24, 2018 Saturday

 I'm sitting on the floor of a waiting room at Boulder City Hospital. Thoughts are rushing

through my head. Why, what did I do? Not all the symptoms matchup, right? My mom is

sitting on the seat next to me. Taking deep breaths, this is the most stressed out I have ever

seen her. I close my eyes and try to picture myself walking out of the hospital. I am fine,

Bryan is there to give me a hug and ask me if I'm ok. I tell him It's ok, just the flu. Then I

Snapped back into reality. I'm still here.

I see a nurse walk out I hold my breath.

"Cathrine Hoffing," I freeze. My mom pats my shoulder and says, "Come on sweetheart

everything will work out." That's when I remember to keep breathing. I walk slowly, as slowly

as my mother will allow me to, Dr. Stevens is standing at his door. He is wearing a straight face.

"Why don't you take a seat Cathrine." I am shaking so bad it's hard to breath. He repeats my

symptoms like it's the first time I am hearing them. Fever, trouble breathing, bleeding, easy

bruises and the stomachaches. The stomachaches were the worst.

Then his face falls, "Your white blood cell count was very high. When we did your needle

biopsy and aspiration of bone marrow from the pelvic bone we noticed that you have

acute myeloid leukemia (AML). It is a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. I am sorry

you only have 4 months to live."

I heard my mother scream and start sobbing. Everything was fuzzy, I couldn't breathe. Then I

blacked out, well not really I just stopped caring. I stood up.

"Thank you, Doctor. I will be back tomorrow." Was all I could muster.

"Yes, we will start chemo tomorrow. We can also sign you up for some trials. Be here at

nine." I only heard the last part.

"Ok mom let's go." She was still weeping.

As we walked to my car I fumbled around for my phone and keys. I was driving when I

picked up the phone and started dialing Bryan's number. He picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Bryan, I just left the doctors office."

"What did they say?" I took a few deep breaths.

"They told me that I only have 4 months left to live." That is the first time I cried. That was

also the first time I realized what was actually happening. In four months I was going to

leave Bryan, Mom, Dad, and worst of all my little sister Alice. She would be heartbroken

she was only 10 would she remember me?!

"Please come over Bryan, please."

"I'm pulling in your driveway." He said. I pulled over and for a minute letting the

tears stream down my face. I composed myself and kept driving. Mom had fallen

asleep her face was all red and blotchy I sighed, "I'm sorry, Mom." I turned onto my

road and Bryan's car was there waiting. He ran out to meet me he holding me in a hug

for at least a minute. He stepped back, "I love you."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed he held me close for a minute and said, "Do you want me to

go to your chemo tomorrow?" I nodded not able to speak without letting out another

sob.

"Do you want a nap." He asked. I nodded again walking towards the house. My

dad and sister were in the living room watching tv. I walked right past them ignoring

the questions. We walked into my room and I flopped into my bed falling asleep as

soon as I hit the pillow. I woke up to him sitting at the end of my bed. I asked him if it

was real. He told me, yes