Shattered Glass | Ayato x Oc x Kaneki |

【19】 - ℝeminscing

🇷aven wouldn't emerge from her room at Aogiri for days. 

It was how she was processing the loss of Kaneki. That was until Ayato barged in one day, telling her that he was still alive, just as another identity - let alone working with the CCG now. She then had to see this for herself, and once she saw the new him, she couldn't believe her own eyes.

She would then spend her time every day by watching him from a rooftop, seeing that he's usually with his Dove pals. She was planning the right moment to meet him, to see if he would still know her and maybe try to get through to him.

                                                                                                 ▬ ⓢ ▬

"🇮 don't want to risk losing you."

Raven was sprawled across her bed, hands resting underneath her head, as she reminisced about her last night with Kaneki. She remembered those words as she looked into eyes that held concern and fear, but also were brimming with love. The grip on her wrist was slightly tight but mostly affectionate.

"You're not going to."

She really thought she'd make it back to him ---- that after the chaotic evening, things would be fine. In the end, it was her that ended up losing him. As she thought everything over, the pain had settled into her mind, crystal tears brimming along the bottom lids of her eyes. 

Her teeth clenched together as she brought a pillow into her arms, submerging herself under it. The clear drops of saltwater began to dance down her cheeks, as quiet sobs were emitted from her lips.

A knock was heard on her door, but she ignored it, not wanting to answer. Then another sound followed, signaling that the door opened. A familiar sigh was then heard.

"Raven..." the voice belonged to none other than Ayato.

It had been a year since the chaotic evening, and Raven unfortunately still hadn't quite healed. Aside from shutting herself away - when she would converse with others, she had lost her smile or any sense of jubilance. 

Raven felt a crease in the bed, part of the mattress sinking due to someone else's weight. "Come on, it's been a year now," Ayato adds.

"You don't understand," Raven's muffled voice croaked from under the pillow. 

Drooping his eyes in a manner of annoyance, he pulled the pillow down, revealing Raven's tear-stained face. "What don't I understand?" He retorts.

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, she slowly sat up, now sitting next to him. Her eyes didn't meet him, remaining focused on her limp hands folded in her lap.

"I keep losing people," she states. "I couldn't even fucking save him, Ayato. Maybe if I intervened before he got to the Doves, I could've gotten through to him. One thing that Kaneki and I have in common, is that we think we can save everyone we care about. But when we can't, we feel like we failed. I tried to get to Yoshimura, but of course, he was surrounded, and knowing him, he wouldn't want me to risk my life helping him. Even if we saved Kaya and Enji, they ended up not making it anyway."

"There was nothing you could've done for Kaneki. Even if you reached him in time, he wouldn't have listened," Ayato assures her. 

A little sting pricked at Raven's eyes, signaling more oncoming tears. "He didn't want to lose me that night, he was afraid some Dove would get the best of me. I could see it in his expression, but I was the one who ended up losing him." Raven adds, her voice now breaking as more tears danced down her face.

Although Ayato didn't let what he felt show on his face, it hurt him to see her upset. So once again, he wrapped an arm around her to pull her into him, her head leaning against his chest, as quiet sobs were heard from her. 

Ayato then felt eyes on them, like they weren't alone. 

His eyes shifted over to the door to find Cadi spectating quietly, a knowing yet almost dry smirk etched across her face. Then she was gone in a flash as if she was never there.