Shut Up (Boy×Boy)

Chapter Fifteen - Guy

"I can't believe you convinced me to come here," says James.

We are standing in the parking lot outside Dominic's house. I can hear the music from here and I can see swarms of people entering the house. To be honest I can't believe that we are here either.

This term has been pretty crazy. I managed to finish writing all the songs with a day to spare. I've been talking to my dad for a while now. I still find it odd, and sometimes it gets to be a bit much for me. I ghosted him for a couple of days when he asked me how my mum was.

I eventually told him she passed away. Of course he had no idea. I miss her more and more every day. Even though I act like it doesn't bother me, it hurts when Chad mentions her. He's picked on me a few times in the last few weeks, but at least he's left James alone.

I haven't told James about it, I wouldn't want him to worry. He can tell when somethings up though. He figured out I was talking to my dad before I had the chance to tell him. I'm glad I was able to get it off my chest.

James knows me so well that it scares me sometimes. He didn't wish me a happy birthday, but he didn't forget. He gave me a present: guitar strings, since one of my old ones snapped. If you want to replace one you have to replace them all. James knows that my birthday reminds me of my mother's death, so he didn't mention it. I appreciate that.

He had his birthday too, his is only a couple of weeks after mine. We went as a group to the movies and had pizza afterwards. Ava came along too with Amelia. I would like to say that they are dating, but I'm not really sure. Ava doesn't seem to be sure either. I can't help but feel like Amelia is leading her on, I hope not. Ava deserves to be happy.

I'm so lucky to have James. He's always by my side through everything. Sometimes I worry that he's too good for me. I was pretty scared that I'd mess up, I still am, but I feel better now after we talked about it.

"Something on your mind?" asked James, sitting down beside me on the couch.

"Maybe," I said, not quite meeting his eyes.

He placed his hand under my chin and gently turned my head to look at him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I've just been thinking."

"That's never good," he teased.

I blushed, "It's no big deal."

"It's about us, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

James removed his hand from under my chin and leaned back on the couch.

"Guy," he begun.

It kind of shocked me to hear him call me by my first name, he had been calling me Nelson for weeks at this point.

"Just because I'm your boyfriend doesn't mean I'm not still your best friend. And I know it's weird to talk to me about me but it seems like you need to get this off your chest. Just pretend like you are talking about someone else."

"Okay."

"Go on."

"I'm scared."

"Scared of...?"

"Messing up."

"Messing up our... sorry, your relationship?"

I couldn't help laugh, he was right, it was weird, but it really did help.

"Dude, this is serious."