Cigarettes and placebos | reddie

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(Trigger warning, mentions of suicide.)

Richie sat at the top of Derry Town Lookout. What is Derry Town Lookout you might be wondering? Well, it's the most likely place anyone would go in Derry to commit suicide. It's basically a cliff, where you can see the whole town of Derry, hence why it's called the lookout. The drop is around one hundred to one hundred and fifty feet. Which would kill you on impact, especially since the bottom is rocky. Why is Richie Trashmouth Tozier sitting at the top of 'suicide cliff'? Well, I'm sure that is pretty self explanatory. He's here to become another lost soul of Derry. Another nobody who's given up on everything. Why? Richie was sure he could think up a million reasons as to why he was sitting at this ledge, taking a puff of his last cigarette, both from the pack and forever. Richie sat there for a good thirty minutes, smoking his last pack of cigarettes trying to think of just one reason to stay. Just one, and he absolutely couldn't. He had friends, yeah. But they could care less. Well, that's what he told himself to convince his scrawny legs to make their way up here. He waited. For one thing. For anything. He waited, and waited. He inhaled one last time before tossing the cigarette over the edge, while imagining himself as the cancer stick. Falling and falling. He brought himself to his full height and rubbed his hands over his bruised face to make sure this was real and happening. He was real. He is here. He is in this moment. He looked out over the place he referred to as hell. He looked out as if to try and spot a reason to stay. Nothing was spotted, just a bunch of shitty places with shitty memories. Richie slowly dangled his leg over the edge, just to feel that there is no real ground there. Just a bunch of nothingness with some rocks at the very bottom. The adrenaline and anxiety finally started kicking in. It reminded him of the quarry with the losers. Looking over the cliff at the water, feeling nervous about the impact. But the losers always made that okay. Ah beverly, Stan, and bill. Fucking losers. Richie backed one foot up. What if they cared? Then he remembered, pulling himself out of nostalgia. They don't. They absolutely could not care any less. Richie took a deep breath in. "Take care of Stanley," Richie whispered out. As if he were talking to the shitty town, making sure it doesn't bring said boy into any trouble. Like he was entrusting it. Richie inched closer and closed his eyes as he took one final deep breath. "Richie wait!"
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Hey guys, here's somethin new. It's going to be more continuable because I can vent through this story. And I really need that right now. I really need y'all to tell me which direction to go. Mental hospital, and that's where he meets the losers or regular Derry with someone trying to give him reasons to live. Please comment!
Ig: oleff.grazer.wolfhard.schnapp