Surfing Midland (Complete/ First draught).

Chapter 38

Breakfast was a little awkward, but because Devyn and Emma more or less spoke to each other throughout the entire occasion no one really had time to let the awkwardness grow. I made conversation with Max but noticed that whenever he and I really began talking either Devyn or Emma would turn and interrupt what either of us was saying. I guess jealousy ran in their family, it was clear as daylight to me what Emma and Devyn were doing and after the fourth attempt to interrupt our conversation I got annoyed and left the table somewhat angry.

So far this was turning out to be one of the worst holidays I had ever been on and I had only ever been on two! Instead of heading down to the beach I went up to my room to begin preparing for the surf tournament but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I didn’t want to compete.

Deep down inside I knew that I hadn’t come to California to compete, but somehow had convinced myself and everyone around me that surfing at competition level was still something I wanted and looked forward to. But things had changed, I didn’t look forward to surfing anymore...I still loved to swim to be sure, but surfing was no longer what I loved doing.

“Hey kiddo, are you ready to go?” I was brought out of my contemplating by Melissa; she always knew when to interrupt me when my thoughts were getting a little too emotional. I loved her for that and turned to hug her tightly.

“I never really said thank you for everything you ever did for me.” I mumbled against her shoulder, even though it was her job to look after me she had still treated me with so much more kindness and love than a stranger had to give.

“That sounds like a weird sort of goodbye, are you leaving us behind?” Melissa didn’t sound angry or hurt, she did sound a little sad but I nodded all the same and was glad when I felt her arms wrap around me instead of push me away. Out of all the people on Earth I think it was her approval I craved the most, not my mom’s and not Declans, but my nanny’s.

“I wanted to stay here so much and I thought California was where I wanted to be, but I realize...I feel more at home in Montana than I have here. I don’t mean that as an insult to you or anything, I just...my dad and Trisha.” Melissa shushed me as she pulled away, for some reason I found it hard to look her in the eye as she studied me.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to explain, I’ve always hoped and wished that you could go to your dad’s home and be happy. And you are happy, despite everything I can see a totally different you smiling back at me. That’s all I ever wanted for you Leah, was that you be truly happy and know what being loved by your parents really means. I know your mom loves you in her own way but it’s a different kind of love to what Declan can give.” Though I tried not to, by the time Mel had finished her little speech I was in tears!

Over the last few weeks I had cried more than I had ever cried in my entire life, I had made myself believe that crying was a weakness that I couldn’t show anyone. But I was slowly beginning to understand that it wasn’t a weakness and not everyone would use it to their advantage.

“Thanks Mel, I guess we better get all this out of the way then? I think I’ll be like Max and make this my last competition...do you think it’s a good idea?” I asked, Mel was probably one of the few people whose opinion I trusted, she had been with me for as long as I could remember and had navigated me through many of my ‘episodes’ and trials.