Theres this feeling
I can't quite describe
This feeling where...
My bones ache
And my lips crackle
Where my body turns cold
And my heart even colder
A place where even the loudest scream
Was but a quiet whisper
Where my mind is both silent
And louder than ever
Where my tears still struggle to fall
Despite there being none left to cry
Blood spills from my lips
A result of my constant chewing
My heart empties itself into my stomach
And I feel myself trying to throw it up
I want to run, yet I cannot move
My body won't let me
Even though It is the very thing that screams to move
My head aches
And my eyelids close in on themselves
Where there's comfort in death
And fear in living
There are faces all around me
But they don't say anything
They don't smile or frown
They don't move nor blink
They simply stay there
Looking, watching
Watching me as I drown in my own sorrow
My tears taste of nothing
Neither does my blood
Neither does the passion i once had for life
I am nothing now.
I am alone
The word "alone"
I feel it
It wraps itself around my neck and strangles me
I struggle and scream at first
But after so many years of feeling it
It almost feels like a hug
Like I'm being comforted
This is my world.
A world where everything matters but me
A world where time never stops
And it never will
Especially not for someone as useless as myself
But the worst part?
It's not the sadness or the loneliness or the choking
It's the fact that...
I can do nothing about it
I cannot run from the darkness in my heart
I embrace it
I lay there, as that feeling creeps in again
I am nothing
So, I embrace it as it is.
