When two people come together, and form this particularly small group of two called a relationship, they structure an emotion that is shared with one another, which is called love. Their mind and heart become infatuated in this emotion, and develop a keen understanding of what it is. They become appreciative of each others presence, develop the fondness of wanting more of each other, and grow a sense of respect in this small group. Young people like me aren't considered to have the right to sense this unspeakable emotion, because we've barely flipped through all the pages of life. But I believe that it's wrong for us to be denied the chance to know that we've felt love. In fact, everyone has felt love. As human beings we've felt love since the day our parents held us close, and felt their body against ours. The sense of security and sureness, that's love that we felt. We've felt love, when our parents watched us enter our first kindergarten classroom. We've felt love when we fell for the first time, and our parents were there to pick us up and wipe the dirt off our scabbed knees. We've even felt it when our eyes met with someone else's. The tightening sense that occurs on the chest, on the left side, right above our hearts. A girl made me feel that way, like the many others that did the same. But she did something that made her stand out. Let's call her, Michelle. We were middle school friends, and we started to get to know each other better in the 8th grade. We had a great sense of chemistry, that really did spark up throughout the year. And a mutual friend of ours, told me that she started to like me. I was pretty shocked, considering that I thought we were just friends. And as soon as I heard the news, I started to produce feelings as well. She wasn't too tall, but just the right size for a girl. She stood right at my shoulder, if people were to put us side by side. She had dark brown eyes, and they were fairly big. But they were normal, considering her ethnicity. She had dark brown hair, which was rather straight. She didn't have big arms or legs, but I guess they needed to be proportionate to her height.
It was finally the school dance, and I decided to wear a whole suit for the personal amusement of dressing up the part. During that time, our mutual friend kept nagging me to ask Michelle to the dance. Even my good friends decided to hop on the nag train. Since I was already dressed for the part, I thought why not. So I asked her in homeroom class, and she said yes. She smiled, and turned around to go over to our friend. Assuming her little whispers with our friend, and her smile, I guess she seemed happy. I felt accomplished in some sort of way, only because I genuinely like making people happy.
We entered the school gym, where the dance was held, and it was dark with colorful flashing lights. As the dance progressed, a slow song came on. I immediately started to look for her, because we got separated in the middle of the dance. As soon as I found her, I asked if she wanted to dance, and with no surprise, she said yes. We slow danced to Stay by Rihanna.
Wrapping it up quickly, we became a couple, she was the first girl I took on a date, we went to a spacious park, known by a lot in Calgary, then we broke up the same day.
It does seem very shallow of her, but before she gets beaten up with words, I need to remind you that before our conversation ended, she asked if we could be best friends. And I agreed unsurely, considering that it would never happen. But guess what, we're still best friends till this day. August 31st 2014. But it wasn't easy. The last year of our middle school days, I tended to get feelings for her again, and I pursued after her relentlessly. And it always ended badly. We fought a lot during the first semester and a little on the second. And I've decided to restrain myself from my feelings from now on, since I realized I'll always receive the terrible ending, which I grew tired of. She had this sort of charm to her too. She really did get pretty throughout the summer, and her hair changed too as the school year progressed. It was blonde and light brown halfway down her hair. And it looked nice on her.
Either way, the reason why she stood out so much compared to the other girls I've liked and dated, is because we became the closest friends ever imaginable. She's set that standard in my head so high, that i think it'll be like that with every break up I face. I recently had a girlfriend, and she broke up with me during the summer. July 15th. And I asked her if we could be friends, and as I said that, I thought of the friendship I've formed with Michelle. It was beautiful. My ex agreed, and I'd tend to talk to her like nothing happened, and talked to her with ease. Yet she didn't seem to try anymore, so I concluded that she was a selfish Asswipe. But that's not the point. Michelle has affected the way I think, and I find that fascinating because it really does mean she plays a big role in my life.
I'd often go to her place during the summer, and relax there with her. We'd get into arguments which involved a lot of yelling. And we'd yell louder and louder to see who can go the highest, and "win" the argument. But we'd always laugh in the end. Which I found special about us.
She even told me that we acted like a couple even though we didn't date. And I thought about it. And compared our friendship with other couples, and realized it was far more better than theirs. And the trust we've formed is quite amazing, considering that trust is what a lot of people lack in relationships and friendships. Because trust is the social bind that keeps relationships intact and healthy. We've really gone through a lot together, and there is definitely more fights to conquer. Yet she seems to disagree.
"This is the last time we're fighting alright?" She said after we made up. That was our last fight, and we haven't fought since. Yet.
She may not know this, but I still tend get feelings for her when we spend time together, but at the end of the day, I throw them in the trash, knowing that I've been disappointed too many times by her because its turned into a fear. But it doesn't matter either way. I hope she takes care of herself in high school.
"Do you have any game boards?"
-V.
Y.
