'My voice wouldn't come out, but you already knew that.'
I sat in the back of the classroom, mumbled voices around me cloud my thoughts. Classmates start to stand from their allocated seats and move around to mingle. Obscuring my voice in my head. My chest tightens, a snake coils around my heart and my heart rate increases.
'I have no one to talk to.'
My hands start trembling as if mini-shock waves were sent up my finger tips. My vision clouds and I start seeing double.
Don't look at me please..
The sides of my fringe cover the sides of my eye sight. I put my trembling hands over my eyes.
I shouldn't have done put my hands over my eyes.
Lips quiver and I sharply inhale.
My classmates think I'm weird.
Tears are about to fill into my eyes. The hue on my cheeks start to redden.
How am I supposed to be a hero if I can't deal with socializing?
Why can't I be brave?
Am I meant to be here?
My brain goes on and on about how I can do better. It wants me to do this and act a certain way. I expect results that seem so easy to other people, but I can't do it.
I'm so worthless.
"I don't deserve to be here...." I mumble out, I began to get up from my seat as I watched the crowd of 1-A students get up and leave the room. I trail behind them, they laugh and converse with each other like it was nothing. I managed to get in 1-A, where most wanted to be in.
But I couldn't help but think it was a mistake? There were so many people better than me. I'm easily out shadowed by amazing and talented people. I wonder if I could ever touch the stars like they did.
Just being behind makes me look bad...
I'm the outcast.
Is it because I-
"I'm not enough?"
I looked out in the big doors of U.A high, dark foreboding clouds cover the once blue sky. Light rains starts to drip down to the earth. I look around to see a majority of U.A students grab their umbrellas and the people without one group up with people who have their own. They conversed happily as many of them started to walk home together. Both sought shelter from the rain together.
Together?
I looked around even more, my eyes scanning over even further. I saw a boy from my class grabbing his umbrella, he was around my height, if not a bit taller. He had unruly green hair and a set of emerald pools to match it. I contemplated talking to him and asking him if we could share.
But...
Would he find it weird that I don't have an umbrella? He probably would reject me anyways. I inhaled the cold air around me sharply. I smelt the smell of rain as I did and began to step outside to the now heavy rain fall. The droplets of rain caused me to shiver. I tried to look down to my shoes to avoid eye contact with anyone from school. I saw some crevices in the road that were filled with water. They seem to fit well together. Sometimes I wonder if I will find anyone that will complete me.
But who would want someone as worthless as me?
The puddles on the cold dull concrete seemed full of leaves and other items swept from from up the road. The leaves pilled in a wet pile of mush in the dips in the concrete. They seemed to be very full.
I feel empty unlike the dips and imperfections in the concrete.
I will never be full or feel complete like the dips or crevices in the road on a rainy day.
'Why do I have to be sad?'
Don't worry you'll get used to it soon.
YOU ARE READING
Background character || Izuku Midoriya x reader
FanfictionIzuku Midoriya x reader I don't wanna be upset but my heart really wants to die. Warning: Suicidal/Negative thoughts. And some triggering actions in future chapters