Self-awareness is the key. What I mean by that is when I would say I was going to quit, I would later find myself back on the computer or on the couch watching television. It took a long time for me to even realize what I was doing. It was like a habitual auto-pilot for me – You have to wake up and be aware of what you’re doing and where you are.
If you need to, make a schedule and adhere to it very strictly. Set alarms if you want but you just have to wake up and be present and plan your time.
Know what you’re going to do, and do it. If you don’t know what to do, you’ll fall back into your natural pattern and just say “I’ll start tomorrow.”
Once you’ve got that down, you have to make sure you don’t transfer the obsession/addiction to something else that’s just as bad. The goal is to make positive, long lasting changes but you also should just take baby steps. That in itself will help the reinforcement. For example, when I first woke up, I would want to immediately turn on the television or get on the computer or worse: both simultaneously. At first, I did something small. When I first woke up, I would just sit. No television, no computer, no phone, nothing. I just do nothing, being quiet and still. I allow my brain to wake up, process, slow down, and make plans. The reason I did that is because, I wanted to transfer my leisure time to reading but I was too annoyed/used to a quick fix to immediately start reading all day every day every chance I could. I had to transition slowly away from relying so heavily on screens for entertainment.
Don’t think you’re a failure if you relapse. Don’t say “Well, I messed up a little while today so I might as well go back to my old habits for the rest of the day/week/month.” No. Small corrections are as important as positive encouragement.
When you do start helping out in charities, make sure you are doing things that truly interest you. Don’t join something because someone else said it was great and you just HAVE to be part of it. If you don’t like what you’re doing, you will stop. Then you’ll feel guilty and go back to your old habits and feel even worse. So if you don’t like what you’re in, move on and go find something else. It’s all right and normal not to like everything you what you dedicate into.
We are our own worst enemies and problems. But we’re also our solutions. So just be honest with yourself, know and recognize your limitations and weaknesses, and move forward with your head held high.
Joining IAM Group Limited Seoul, Korea made me feel complete. I had the pleasure of meeting and working with other members as far as Yokohama, Japan; Bangkok, Thailand; and even Texas, USA. They are a group of individuals just like me who found haven in helping for a better good. I am now not looking for quick satisfaction from things I used to do all day like video games and TV shows, instead, I now focus on the greater-than-life stuffs. I am now traveling to IAM Group members in Yokohama, Japan to meet them and hopefully I will be stepping in more foreign places soon.
