Abyss - Book Five (Man x Man)

Chapter 2

I note the hint of offense at my question but truly, he can not blame me for being unsure. He's been gone so often lately, as much as I might appear to be busy I do miss him and the lifestyle he brings with him. I slide away to sit beside him, plucking at the grass as if I've been caught doing something I shouldn't. 

Don't look at me that way, you haven't necessarily been around, you know."

"We're in a war, darling." He points out. I feel ridiculous for even bringing it up.

 I remind myself that I'm not out there on the front lines, I'm here. I'm learning how to rule a kingdom and doing it, what feels like, all on my own. It isn't like Loan and I are good friends, this coronation hasn't necessarily brought us closer. I can only imagine that both of us were hoping the weight would ultimately fall on Loan's shoulders but the Prime Minister had come down himself and insisted that this arrangement would no longer be acceptable. 

The rightful king had to take his place and that man was me, if we were going to go to war, it would be as a united front under one ruler. We would no longer be divided into kingdoms, all of Romania would be held under my rule without removing the royal families of the kingdoms of man or the elves. 

The country seemed to be in agreeance that this was the final answer. I had, unintentionally, proven myself. Verando cocks his head at my lack of an answer, I'm merely lost in thought. 

I offer him a small smile and bring my knees up to rest my arms on them. "What if I don't want to be King?" 

Verando groans, flopping back in the grass and kicking his legs out to lay flat. I admire the shape of him, the way his clothes cling to his muscular frame, the road had been generous to him. "Touch late for that, don't you think?" The wind is cool, carrying with it the ends of summer. "I know it's boring but it is your responsibility, you know."

I can't help but wrinkle my nose at him, annoyed at his stance. A scathing thought crossed my mind but I stop myself. "I thought you supported me in my every endeavor?" I prod, providing him with a rather hateful glare. 

He folds his hands behind his head, watching me with that fierce look that suggests he's analyzing me. I put my hand over his eyes, I don't need his judgment. 

"If not you, then who? Loan? It can't be done, Nic. Trust me, I'd love to have you all to myself but that's just not the way it is. Romania is going to need you when this is all over, it needs you now."

 I lift my hand to peek at him, softening my expression. I needed him if I was going to do this. 

"So maybe we should postpone the wedding...?" I ask with a shy grin. He sits up, his expression a mixture of hurt and frustration. "There's so much going on!" I add quickly. "I just-" How do I explain this without hurting that sensitive ego? "I want to live, Randy. I don't want to be tied down just yet." 

I can hear how that sounds, his expression falls, I quickly backtrack. Getting on my knees before him, I attempt to smooth out his disappointment."You know what I'm trying to say. You've been married! It-" I place my hands on my lap, sighing. "It changes things. I don't want to change anything between us. I want to be just the same, I want to love you exactly this much for the rest of my life."

He shakes his head, moving to get up but I grab him, pulling him back down. "There are no constants, everything changes." He grumbles at me. "How would it make you feel if I kept breaking my promise to you? I think you'd be fit to be tied." His expression is hard, hiding the fact that I've hurt him on a deeper level. 

He thinks I don't want to marry him when that's so far from the case. 

I crawl over to him, sitting on my knees so I can face him. "I share my life with you, isn't that enough for now?" I practically plead. "Let's talk about this more after the coronation? I'm just freaking out, I'll feel better then?" He forces a smile and I throw my arms around his neck, relishing in the feel of him. I take in his scent as he half-heartedly puts an arm around my waist.