The Kiss Of Death

Academic Horrors

If we are going to talk about academic pleasures or friendships , it's probably that thing that had been overused was scratched so hard that I feel numb. I sucked and struggled through almost everything. Like every another teenagers ,I too had episodes of irritational as puberty of teenagers kicked in. Nonetheless , I was full aware and painfully aware that I had a harder time coping with daily go to activities. I didn't learn to tie my shoe laces until 9th grade. I wasn't able to make it time untuke 7th grade. I compared myself to everyone from my big cousins , who was always at the top of our class, to my very childhood best friends my same age absolutely rocking and acing everything from academics or sports.I used to fail at maths and was made fun of around my classmates. I had a sense of isolation ,guilt , shame and I felt dismissed. At the beginning of it I would toss and turn in my bedsheets , wrestling with every depressing thought I had while convincing myself to fall asleep , though never succeeding at it. I'd get into the bed at night , lie there lifeless like a stone staring the the walls of the room. Next morning I'd wake up wide eyed , numb , exhausted to even get out of the bed. This pattern has been repeated for years leaving me unable to function and almost yearning and sobbing with fatigue from every inch of my bones. When my mind and my body finally got under the bedsheets leaving my nighttimes becoming my personal emotional hell.