Athena

Allison

   It's been another week Ruben went back home and I still haven't gotten my blade, Ally, dosent really know I'm here and I'm not sure I should tell her because if I do I'm gonna have to tell her why and i dont want to be the one to brake her heart.

   But I'd rather she have a broken heart then have her go over to Jamie's and put herself and the baby at risk. I know we got rid of all the information they had but they could always find other ways to get it again. Sure it'll take time and alot of work but they have the resources and they have the time, all they care about is catching "the bad guy" even if that means thinking and acting like them, so truly  who is the bad person in this scenario us, or them?

  I pick up my phone and pace the room trying to get myself to call her I've been doing this all week, I go to dial but then I decide not to it's a back and forth, I know I owe her this but I'm scared of what her reaction would be. She went through all of that for me, she got rid of them for me, and now she might end up in jail. I will gladly take her place but I know she wont let me, I know she wont allow it even if it means giving every single detail of what she did. Wich I would love to hear as sick as it may sound I want to know everything, what happend while I was outside waiting for her, what was going on, how she managed to get them trapped in the house or what chemical she used to light the fire, and when she started planing this. I would love to know every single detail, the idea of knowing gets me excited, has me giddy and I decided I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna call her and maybe someday she would tell me how it happened it can be our little secret.

   I'm about to start calling when a call comes in noticing that its Vegas and hit decline and begin my search for Allys contact but again Vegas calls, decline, and again, decline, and again. His gonna keep calling and I need to make this call before it's to late.

  So I answer the phone.

"Hello, Athena, you there?" I decide to ignore him. Hoping he gives up and hangs up so I can make my call

"Listen if you are there Alpha came locking for you, I could have sworn you were with them. I told him you weren't here and we had to let him search the house. A couple of his man are staying here incase you come back."

"I wont." Is my short answer to his ranting.

"Why not? Please, let's talk about it. I promise if your still mad about it I'll leave and wont call again." Maybe I should let him talk to get him of my back.

"Athena?" I was really considering it letting him tell me what was going on? Why he did it, but he could easily lie again and I'm done with people like that so I remove the phone from my ear and end the call. I might be socially awkward and maybe have no idea how to deal with people but I'm good with lies, I'm good with pain, I'm good with all that is ugly. I've lived, eaten and breathed evil and he will not get a chance to make me feel any worst. They are not worth it, if theres one good thing I learned growing up is that people who love you do anything to protect you no matter how ugly things get. And they aren't doing that, if Kevin is looking for me it's because Ally knows or she most know something, and if she knows it means things had progressed more than I had anticipated. Wich means I'm gonna have to talk to Ally and get her to the save house with Kay-Kay as soon as possible, I in no way intend to let her get caught, it's my responsibility this time and I owe her more then just this.

    I dial her number and bring the phone to my ear again it rings a couple of times before she finally answers.

"Lana, Lana where are you" she sounds worried, desperate, like a mother sounds when she learns her child had been in an accident, or how a father sounds when he sees his baby girl fall of the swings, not that I would know but in my mind this is what they sound like. She sounds like shes about to brake, like the rug had been pulled from under her with out warning, she sounds breathless, tired and in desperate need of hearing my voice. So that's what I do, I talk to let her know I'm fine.

"I'm at home Ally, but that's not important, you're gonna have to pack your bag and get to the mountains, things are happening, really fast, and Kay-Kay is going to need you." I tell her as fast as I can. Making sure to not go into alot of details.

"What are you going on about, how did you find out? Lana I need you here, I need to see that your ok." I want to say no but I know that she gets motherly every now and then and theres one thing I cant do when Ally gets like this. And its say no, trust me she can be really scary, I've lived to tell the story, barely.

"Ok, I'll be there in a little bit Ma. I love you." In case you haven't noticed we barely verbalize our love for each other but when she gets like this it's the only way I find to get her to calm down. Plus it's the only time I can refer to her as anything related to mom and her not reprimend me on it. It's the only time when I can truly feel like I can honestly dub her with the crown she is entitled to. Because she deserves it and subconsciously she knows it, wich is why she allows me the satisfaction of every once in a blue moon express how I truly feel about her, who she really is for me, to remind her the place she so dearly deserves to occupy in my life.

   She was the one good, constant thing in my life and I couldn't be more blessed, yes we've been through hell and back but now it all just seemed like a walk in the park, a really long and scary walk, but just a walk, something you can move on from something we dont want to or have to revisit something that can be engraved in us for the rest of our lives but that we can also live with.

   I'm proud to say that thanks to her I know I can do anything and everything I put myself up to. I can brake rocks and walk straight through hell with a full blown smile on my face and not worry about being stuck, because all things come to an end and we can always move on to something else. She molded me and my way of thinking, she created a fighter and a person who can skillfully and elegantly get past anything. Some may say it's sad but Ally once said that you dont really know who you are until you have experienced everything life has to offer, good or bad. And I like to think I'm getting along just fine.

   Maybe I could be better, maybe she messed up once or twice but the fact that we can acknowledge that means we are still in some sense good, we can identify the differences between good and bad and we have the ability to choose. And the fact that she was just a child herself is something to admire, not everyone can do what she did, not everyone can make the decision she made. And even if no one gets to see or hear about it I will for ever cherish it all, I will for ever cherish her.

   I decide to pack a bag because in all honesty I'm not sure how long she's gonna need me to stay there or if after I'm there I'll be able to leave. It happens every single time. After a while of not seeing each other I find it so hard to go back to my normal routine. She was for so long my rock, my person, and she still is but now shes not always there with me shes no longer my constant and I know it's for the better she deserves to be happy and she finaly had it until I almost ruined it so now it might be worst, the need to be near her, I already feel guilty and that guilt might intensify once I tell her and the fact that its gonna be in person is definitely not gonna work in my benefit. Hopefully she can understand and not blame me for almost getting us caught.